Chemistry
by SweetSunnyRose
Summary: Amy Cox is Ben Johnson's baby cousin. After being invited to a 100 Monkeys' concert the flames of romance ignite between Amy and Jackson Rathbone. But things get a little complicated when Amy's tragic past comes back to haunt her.
1. Prologue

Here is my first shot at a Jackson Rathbone fanfic. This story is rated M for language, violence, and scenes of mild adult situations.

Disclaimer: I do not own Jackson or the 100 Monkeys. And all of Ben Johnson's family history is made up (to my knowledge).

Full summary: After a tragic family incident, Amy Cox is sent to live with her Aunt and Uncle and their only son in Bartelso, Illinois; she is only eight years old. Twelve years later and Amy is now a senior at the University of California—Berkeley majoring in biochemistry. After not speaking to each other for about a year, Amy is contacted by her cousin and invited to a concert in Hollywood. Amy agrees, somewhat reluctantly, and drags her best friend along with her. New friendships are formed and the flames of romance ignite between Amy and one of her cousin's band mates. But things get a little complicated when the past comes back to haunt Amy.

**Chemistry**

**Prologue**

The fading grey '94 Chevrolet Impala round its way along the curving country roads. It was dark outside and the moon was hidden behind a thick cover of clouds. A boy sat next to me in the backseat; his head lay propped up against the window. His eyes were closed and his lips were slightly parted. A thin line of drool hung from his mouth and gathered in a pool on his shirt sleeve. A man and a woman sat quietly upfront. The woman was reading a book; a small lamp was pinned to the book cover, providing just enough light for her to see. The man drove the car steadily, but I could feel his eyes flicker to me every so often. I made the mistake of looking back at him once, and as our gaze met though the rear view mirror I could see wrinkles form under his dull blue eyes; he was smiling at me. Whether it was a smile of comfort or a smile of pity I couldn't tell. Without smiling back, I returned to staring out the window like I'd been doing all night.

About a half hour later the car finally pulled off the main highway and up a narrow drive. The car slowly rolled to a stop and the engine died. We had arrived. The woman closed her book and let out a contented sigh. She turned in her seat to look at me.

"Are you ready to see your new home dearie?" She asked.

I didn't respond. How was I supposed to respond?

"Wake up Benjamin; we're home." The woman shoved the right knee of the boy slightly and he woke with a start. He wiped the drool off his mouth with the back of his hand and climbed out of the car. I followed suit.

As I walked up the front porch steps alongside the boy, the sky lit up and a roll of thunder echoed through space. We had just entered the house when the rain began to fall.

The woman sighed again and said, "Now I know you're probably excited to tour the house," I wasn't, "but I'm afraid that will have to wait until tomorrow. It's late and you should get to bed."

I nodded plainly; there was no use in arguing.

"Your bedroom will be on the second floor beside Benjamin's." The woman began to make her way up the stairs; the man and the boy had already gone up. "Since it was such short notice, you coming to live here and all, your bedroom isn't quite ready yet so you'll have to share with Benjamin for the time being."

I nodded again though she couldn't see me.

We walked down the hallway until we came to the last bedroom on the left; the door was open. The boy sat on his bed already dressed in his pajamas. The bedspread was adorned with The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and posters of them hung on the walls of the room. Folded up in one of the corners, next to my luggage, was a pink and purple Barbie bedspread with matching pillows for me.

"You can get dressed in the bathroom here," The woman pointed to the door that was across the hall from the bedroom.

Again I nodded, and went to the corner where my luggage was and unpacked a pair of pajamas.

"Have you brushed your teeth Benjamin?" The woman asked.

"Yes momma." The boy replied.

"Good. Now dearie," the woman turned back to me. "We weren't sure of the status of your toothbrush so we just bought you a new one. It's the pink one on the counter in there. It's still in the packaging. Is there anything that you need?

I shook my head gently. "No ma'am." I said.

The woman smiled slightly. "Alright then. Good night. I'll see you two in the morning." She smiled a little bigger before turning to walk to the other end of the hallway.

I went to the bathroom where I changed and brushed my teeth as quickly as possible. When I returned to the bedroom the boy was still just sitting on the bed, like he was waiting for me to return. I could feel his eyes following me as I went to my corner. I was reaching for my bedspread when a clap of thunder caused me to jump. The boy giggled lightly and I turned to him with moist eyes.

"Are you scared?" he asked me.

I nodded as I tried to hold back the tears.

"Come here." He said.

I stood frozen in my corner.

"It's okay. Bring your blanket and your pillows and come here." At this he jumped off the bed and pulled his own blanket and pillows off and laid them on the floor. "You can sleep on the bed, and I'll sleep on the floor."

I slowly made my way over to the bed with my pillow blanket. "Thank you." I whispered as I crawled onto the bed.

"No problem." The boy said as he crawled into his own makeshift bed. "That's what cousins are for right?"

I stayed silent and pulled the covers up to my chest. Another clap of thunder rattled the window and I pulled the blanket higher.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore Amy. They can't hurt you now."

I had heard those words several times over the past month, but for some reason as I looked into the boy's soft brown eyes on that stormy night I finally believed them.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

12 Years Later

"Kells hurry up! We're going to be late!" I yelled down the hall to my roommate, Kellie. We were on our way to see my cousin's band in concert and we were already ten minutes behind schedule. I hated arriving anywhere late and Kellie hated arriving anywhere on time, but she was my best friend and I wasn't about to drive six hours without her.

"Kells!" I yelled again.

"I'm coming!" She yelled back and then more softly added, "Amy, have you seen my sunglasses? I can't find them anywhere."

It took only one look at Kellie to find her glasses. "Kells hun, have you looked in a mirror?" I pointed to the small mirror hanging on the wall.

"Oh." She pulled her glasses off the top of her head. "I knew they were there. Just so you know."

"Right." I rolled my eyes. "I swear Kells you must die your roots brown because there's no way that can be your natural hair color."

"You, Amy, of all people should know that blonde is not a hair color but a state of mind."

"Then your mind must always be in a state of blondeness."

"I resent that."

"Whatever. Are you ready?" I asked.

"Yea I guess. Where are we going again?" Kellie asked as we walked out of the apartment and locked it.

"To see my cousin in Hollywood, his band is playing at one of clubs tonight."

"Right. And what's the band's name again?" She asked as we got into the car.

"You had to ask me that didn't you? Honestly Kells, I can't remember. It was something like The Monties or The Mommies."

"The Mommies?"

"I said didn't know. I don't even know why he called me and invited me last week. I mean we've hardly spoken since his father died last year."

"Maybe he wants to apologize for being an ass and missing your birthday party." She suggested. I raised my eyebrow skeptically. "I don't know. I don't try to understand guys, it's no use. So Music," Kellie said, changing the subject. "What do you want to listen to first, _Chicago_, Kellie's Wild Mix, or the _Twilight_ soundtrack?"

"Twilight soundtrack? Please tell me you didn't actually buy that?"

"Oh but I did, and it's really very good. Look, you can make fun of me all you want to, but the movie is great and the book is even better." Kellie defended. Lately Kellie had become a big fan of the movie and book series _Twilight_. She went around these days talking non-stop about the different characters and trying to convince me to at least watch the movie. I insisted that I didn't have the time, but mostly I enjoyed teasing her about it.

"I'm sorry Kells, but I just don't get the point of a vegetarian vampire." I laughed.

"Well, don't look at it like a vampire story, but a love story."

"Let's go with _Chicago_." I said.

"Fine, but I will make you watch the movie one day."

"Good luck with that."

Kellie rolled her eyes and slid the _Chicago_ 25th Anniversary C.D. into the player as I exited onto the ramp for Interstate 5.

***~***

Several hours later I was sitting at a table in the back of the 24K Lounge in West Hollywood with a pounding headache. The music was still echoing off the walls even though the band had finished playing at least a half hour ago. I'm sure the little bit of alcohol I had consumed wasn't helping either, nor were the bright lights and screaming girls. I was relaxing against the back of my seat and massaging my temple with my fingers as the last of the fans were leaving, when Kellie came running up to me and shook my shoulders.

"Oh my god Amy! Why didn't you tell me your cousin was Ben Johnson of the 100 Monkeys?!"

"I told you I couldn't remember the name of the band." I said as calmly as I could.

"Yea, but 'The Mommies?"

"He's very soft spoken and he kind of mumbled it over the phone. And I was too astonished that he even called to really focus."

"Excuse me ladies but you have to leave now." A burly man with a thin goatee said.

"Oh but I'm…" I began but was interrupted by another man who appeared at the table.

"She's with me." He said. I smiled my thanks as the goateed man nodded and turned to escort Kellie out.

"And she's with me." I spoke up. The goateed man looked to second man for confirmation before heading off.

"Well," the second man began after a brief pause. "Do I get a hug from my baby cousin?"

"I was considering the possibility." I replied teasingly.

"Come here you little brat." He grabbed my hand and gently pulled me up before wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around him in response.

"Eww gross, you're all sweaty." I said pulling back.

"Well, it gets a little hot on stage." Ben responded. "I'm really glad you made it Aims."

"Yea well it was no problem Benny. We were a little late," I fired a look at Kellie, "and a guy named Marty had to let us in but other than that…" I faded off and shrugged my shoulders.

"So, what did you think? Of the show I mean?" Ben asked, suddenly sounding nervous.

"It was…" I began.

"Amazing." Kellie jumped in. "Absolutely amazing. I loved it. It was very exciting, full of energy, never a dull moment."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."Ben replied with a smile as his cheeks turned slightly pink.

"Ben, this is my best friend and roommate, Kellie Pinkler. Kells, this is my cousin, Ben Johnson." I said.

"It's nice to meet you Kellie." Ben said sticking out his hand.

"Likewise." Kellie smiled as she shook his hand.

"Well, I guess now it's my turn to introduce you to the guys." Ben said.

***~* Meanwhile, across the room *~***

"Dude, check Johnson out. He didn't waste any time getting over to those girls." Ben G. said, nodding his head towards the far end of the room. I looked, and sure enough there was Ben Johnson hitting up two girls.

"I think he knows them." Jerad said.

"Good, maybe he'll hook us up then. Oh, man check out the legs on the blonde, though the brunette's not looking so bad either. Heads up, they're coming this way. It's alright boys, just play it cool."

"Well then maybe you should shut up." I said.

I tried my hardest not to stare at them, but since Ben G. had pointed out the legs on the blonde I just couldn't help it. She was wearing a pair of shorts that probably stretched no further than her pinky and her flawless legs flowed out from underneath the thin cloth. Above the waist didn't look too bad either, with a top that hugged her perfectly proportioned figure, and hair that stopped just above the shoulder. She was just the kind of girl that you couldn't pull your eyes off of. But somehow I managed and caught a look of warning from Johnson in the process.

"Guys, I want you to meet someone very special to me." Ben Johnson said as he draped an arm around the blonde's neck. "This is my baby cousin Amelia Cox and her oomph…" The blonde had shoved her elbow into Ben's rib cage.

"It's Amy." She said. "And this is Kellie, my best friend." She indicated to the brunette standing next to her.

"Amy, I'm Jackson Rathbone." I introduced myself as I reached out to shake her hand; she had soft hands and a sweet smile. I reluctantly let go of her hand to greet her friend and the introductions continued down the line.

After everyone had introduced themselves, Johnson spoke again. "Amy and Kellie will be coming to our place tonight."

"We are?" Kellie asked; her enthusiasm didn't escape me.

"Benny no." Amy protested. "You don't have to do that; we can get a hotel."

"Don't be ridiculous Aims; there's plenty of space for the two of you to crash at the house. Right guys?" Johnson said.

"Absolutely." I replied.

"It's settled then."

"Fine. You good to drive Kells?" Amy asked.

"Yup. After you boys." Kellie said smiling at me. I smiled back politely, but then turned my gaze back to Amy's legs as she walked in front of me towards the door. Johnson kept his arm draped loosely around her neck on the way out as if to say "Hands off Jackson." I reluctantly looked away again.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I opened my lazy eyes the next morning with all traces of my headache gone. I had expected to be given a pillow, maybe a blanket, and made to sleep on the floor somewhere, but instead Benny gave up his bed for Kellie and I and he slept on the couch. I guess the Benny I grew up with was still there, somewhere; maybe this weekend wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

I crawled out of bed as quietly as I could so that I wouldn't disturb Kellie, and left the bedroom. I easily found the living room where I expected to see that I was the only one awake; I was wrong. Sure Benny still lay sprawled out on the too small couch, half naked with a blanket falling off him, but someone else sat in the armchair. I slowly walked over and stood next to the figure.

"Good morning Amy." The figure's scratchy voice said.

"Good morning…" And then there was nothing; I had blanked on his name. I couldn't remember it. I remembered meeting him last night; I remembered shaking his hand, his strong yet tender hand. I remember wishing I could run my fingers through his hair, but I could not, for the life of me, remember his name. And he knew it.

"Jackson," he smiled.

"Jackson, right sorry. I wasn't exactly all there last night." I explained feebly.

"Ah, too much to drink?"

"Not enough is more like it." I joked. "No, actually, I had a really terrible headache."

"And how does your head feel now?" He asked.

"It's fine, thank you."

"Can I get you anything? Some cereal? Something to drink maybe?"

"Do you have any orange juice?"

"Uh, yea, I believe so. Let me check." Jackson stood up, and I followed him to the kitchen where he proceeded to pour me a glass of orange juice.

"I'll be right back; I just need to get something." I excused myself for a moment as I returned to the bedroom. When I came back, with my purse in hand, Jackson was still in the kitchen and he had poured himself a glass of orange juice as well.

"Thank you." I said, lifting my glass.

"You're welcome." He replied lifting his own glass.

I took a sip of OJ and rummaged through my purse until I pulled out an unmarked pill bottle. I popped the top and picked out several different pills of varying sizes. Jackson watched carefully as I threw the first one in my mouth and swallowed.

"So, does Johnson know you pop pills every morning for breakfast?"

"Well," I looked up at him and was momentarily at a loss for words. "That pill was Zyrtec because I have pet allergies and that is a cat." I point to the cat that was currently weaving its way through Jackson's legs.

"His name is Dean."

"Well, good morning Dean." The cat just stared at me with wide eyes. I wasn't much of pet person.

"And the others?" Jackson drew my attention back to the pills in my hand.

"Hmm, these pills," I separated three pills into a separate pile, "are vitamins B, C, and E." I took the three of them together.

"And the little blue one?" His curiosity was still not satisfied.

"This," I paused. Did I really want to tell him this? "This is birth control. And no, Benny doesn't know about this one and I'd appreciate it if he didn't find out."

"Why not?"

"Geez, you're nosey aren't you."

"I'm sorry." He looked down shyly. "You're right; I am being nosey. You don't have to answer any more questions, if you don't want to." He looked up and his eyes caught mine, and suddenly I felt like I wanted to answer any question he asked.

"Birth control does more than just prevent unwanted pregnancies, but Benny wouldn't see it that way. And I don't think I'm ready to spoil the innocent image that he still has of me. Back in Bartelso, under Benny's ever watchful eye, guys weren't allowed within ten feet of me. If he knew of some of the things I've done… I think it would break his little heart."

"Hmm…" He tried to hide his smile, but I could almost see the wheels spinning as he tried to imagine what sort of 'things' I had done. "So you guys are pretty close then?"

"Yea. At least we were, now I don't really know. In Bartelso he was like a big brother and even after he left he still called like all the time. He still threatened to beat any guy who so much as looked at me wrong. But then his best friend died a few years ago, I think his name was…"

"Spencer Bell?"

"Yea. You knew him?"

"He was a friend of mine too."

"Oh." We were both silent for a little while. Jackson kept looking at me like he was trying to remember something.

"You were at the funeral weren't you?" He finally asked.

"Yea." I nodded. "I didn't know the guy personally; I was there for Benny's sake. I mean, his family had been there for me when I needed them, the least I could do was try to be there for him. But anyways, after Spencer died Benny changed. He stopped calling as frequently and birthday cards started showing up late. And then, when his father died last year that was it. He stopped calling all together.

"I tried calling him but he didn't answer, and he didn't return any of my calls. Then my birthday came and went and there was no acknowledgment from him whatsoever. I thought he'd moved on, made new friends, gotten a new life one in which I didn't have a place anymore. Until last week when he up and calls me out of the blue and invites me down here. I didn't know what to think. Did he find out he was sick or something, and thought it best to tell me in person? Had he invited his mom down as well? I didn't even know if I was going to come until we were halfway here. By then I figured, 'I've already gone this far, might as well finish it.'"

Jackson nodded silently for a few seconds as he finished off his OJ. "Well, he's not sick I can promise you that. Well he is a little, ya know," Jackson rotated his finger in circle about his ear to indicate 'crazy.'

"He was like that before; that's nothing new." I teased.

"But he is very glad that you came."

"Yea?" I asked skeptically.

"He wouldn't stop talking about it last night after the show. I eventually went to bed just to get away from it."

"He was talking about me last night? Like what sort of things did he say?"

"Well, he said that you moved in with his family when you were eight. And that you graduated Valedictorian and were accepted into several elite universities, including Berkeley which is where you decided to attend and study…biology?"

"Biochemistry actually, it's the study of the chemical reactions that occur naturally in the body." I corrected.

"Wow. Sounds…complicated and very difficult."

"It can be." I laughed. "You've got to really love learning, and I do."

"Yea, she's a big science nerd. You should have seen her freshman year; she was pathetic." Kellie said wearily as she staggered around the corner.

"And you were a drunk slut." I responded playfully.

"Not much has changed then has it?"

"Oh shut up and go get your drugs. Here, you can use my cup." I gave her the last of my OJ.

"Much obliged." She mumbled before staggering off to the bedroom again.

"Do you guys start every morning like this? Popping pills and insulting each other?" Jackson asked.

"Pretty much. It's a love-hate relationship."

"A love-hate relationship?"

"Yea, I love to hate her and I hate to love her." I laughed. "Kells is…completely insane and insanely brilliant. She's the best study buddy you could ask for and yet she's the life of the party. She keeps life interesting and she's my best friend."

"Aww, Amy you're making me blush." Kellie came back into the kitchen with the empty glass in hand.

"Good morning ladies." Ben Graupner greeted as he joined us in the kitchen, shirtless.

"Do you guys always walk around here half naked?" Kellie asked grinning. I knew what that grin meant.

"Does it bother you?" he asked with a returning grin.

"Not in the least."

"I don't think I'd mind much, if my cousin weren't one of them." I said, nodding my head over my shoulder to my cousin who was still fast asleep on the couch.

"I don't know Me-Me," Kellie turned around to look over the counter. "I kinda like what see."

"Eww, gross."

"I'd wake him up for you," Jackson offered, "but there's no waking him up."

"Oh? Well, this cousin knows a few ticks or two. You just have to be willing to play dirty. Do you mind?" I pointed to the freezer just beside Jackson's head.

"Be my guest." He said as he stepped to the side. I walked to where he was standing and opened the freezer and pulled out an ice tray.

"You wouldn't." Jackson dared me. I just smiled evilly.

I walked into the living room and over to the couch, where Benny was sprawled out on his back. I popped the ice out and emptied the whole tray onto his bare chest. I quickly rubbed the ice cubes over his skin, making sure he felt the full force of the ice. His eyes shot open and he leapt from the couch in a hurry. The guys and Kellie were laughing in the kitchen.

"Morning cuz. I thought it time you got your lazy ass out of bed. And please, put some clothes on; I'm sick of looking at that." Ben just stared at me blankly, speechless, before he staggered off to his room.

"And thanks for the bed last night! It was really comfy!" I yelled after him laughing.

"Thanks a lot Amy." Kellie said as she came into the living room. "I doubt that he'll give up his bed tonight."

"There are two other beds in the house Kells." I said.

"You girls could have my bed tonight, just so long as I don't get woken up with a tray of ice." Jackson said as he came in with some paper towels to clean up the mess.

"Well, I can't make any promises." I said. "After all, I could just throw ice on you now." I picked up a stray ice cube and quickly rubbed it across his check and over his neck.

"You really didn't want to do that."

"Oh I think I did." I laughed. Before I knew it though, Jackson had wrapped his arm around my waist and thrown me down on the couch where my back proceeded to soak up the ice cold water.

"Shit!" I screamed out.

"I told you, you didn't want to do that." Jackson laughed

"What's going on here?" Benny asked as he came back into the room to find me flat on my back on the couch and Jackson leaning over me.

"Just sticking up for you man." Jackson responded. "I gave her a taste of her own medicine.

"It's not so cool is it?" Benny asked moping.

"Actually it's quite cool. It's ice." I responded through clenched teeth. "I'm going to go change now." Jackson offered a hand to help me up, but I ignored it and got up on my own. When I made it to the kitchen I paused and turned around.

"Oh and Jackson," I began, "you are so going to regret that one day." He just laughed.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Before changing I decided to go ahead and take a shower too and when I rejoined the guys in the living room I noticed that they had all decided to get dressed as well, including Kellie. It was a pretty uneventful day, which was fine by me since it was my first day off in a month. Mostly we just sat around and talked then Jerad and his wife came over and the guys jammed a little. I tried to get some studying in but Kellie would have none of it. I argued that we had a test soon after we returned to school; she argued that it was still spring break and we were supposed to be relaxing and having fun.

Ben treated me as if we were back in Illinois; he permanently planted himself at my side and watched me wherever I went. It was annoying, but at least LA had one thing that Bartelso didn't have, Jackson. Jackson was sweet and charming, and I found it incredibly easy to talk to him. He kept his distance because of Benny, but I caught him looking at me occasionally and I returned the stares. It was difficult not to look at him.

The guys didn't have anything planned for that night, so we sat around some more and broke out the alcohol. Kellie somehow managed to distract Benny enough so that Jackson could come and sit next to me.

"So, are you still planning a getting me back?" Jackson asked as he sat down.

"I do." I replied.

"Well I'm waiting."

"You see the thing you have to understand about me Jackson is that I'm gonna get you back when you least expect it. You throwing me on the couch this morning was completely predictable." Even though I didn't see coming.

"Was it now?"

"Yes, but," I leaned in closer and whispered, "when I strike you'll have no idea what hit you and you'll be begging for more." I sank back to my original position but I could still hear him swallow the lump in his throat.

"Maybe I should just stop worrying about it then, so you can go ahead and get it over with."

"How you want to live your life Jackson is not up to me." We both paused and took a drink. It was fun, and easy, to flirt with him.

"So, tell me about yourself. We talked about me this morning and I know nothing about you." I said.

"There's really not much to tell." He replied.

"For some reason I don't buy that. You seem to me a guy that's full of stories to tell. What do you do other than this monkey stuff?"

"Uh," he looked at me a little doubtfully, like he couldn't believe that I didn't already know. "I'm an actor."

"An actor, hmm, what kind of actor?" I asked and he looked doubtful again. "Like there's the stage and there's Hollywood, you know films and sitcoms." I explained.

"I do films mostly."

"What kind of films, blockbuster or…adult?

"Blockbuster, definitely blockbuster." He answered quickly.

"Damn! Then I probably haven't seen any of your work. I'm kidding by the way. Like I have the time to watch _any_ kind of film these days."

"For some reason I don't buy that." He teased.

I gasped. "I'm not even sure how to respond to that." I could feel my cheeks turning redder by the second. "In all honesty, I don't see the point in watching something like that when you could just…" I trailed off as I tried to find the right word to use.

"Experience it yourself?" he offered.

"I'm not sure if 'experience' is the appropriate term, but something like that. Then again you have to have time for that too, and I certainly don't." We both took another moment to drink and compose ourselves.

"So what's the latest blockbuster you did? Or have you even?" I asked.

"I have, and the most recent one that has been released is probably Twilight."

"Twilight?"

"Have you heard of it?"

"Yea, I've heard of it. A little birdie has told me about it, a very annoying birdie that won't stop yapping about it."

"Ah. Does the name of the birdie happen begin with 'K' and end in 'ellie'?"

"It does, actually. Wow. It's amazing how you knew that." I said sarcastically. I continued on with my questioning. "So, where are you from? Or have you always lived in L.A.?"

"I'm from a little bit of everywhere. I was born in Singapore, but my family lives in Texas now."

"Siblings?"

"What is this Twenty Questions now?"

"No, because in that game you'd have to ask questions too and I'm the only asking."

"We can change that. Where are you from originally?"

"You didn't answer my question about siblings."

"I think the point of the game is to take turns asking questions."

"I asked the question before the game started so technically it doesn't count, but you still have to answer it."

He laughed but answered anyways. "I have three sisters."

"Younger or older?"

"Uh-huh. You have to answer my question first. Where did you live before Illinois?"

I took another sip of my drink to stall. I didn't like talking about my past. Only Kellie and Benny really knew what happened, and there were still things that I didn't remember. I think Jackson could sense that I was uncomfortable and he was about to retract his question when for some unknown reason to me, I answered.

"I was born in a small town in North Carolina."

"Ah, so you are a southerner. I had this feeling."

"Well, some would argue that I'm not because I lived in Illinois longer."

"It only matters where you born."

"Then by that philosophy you're a foreigner."

"You've got me on that one." He laughed. "So why did you move in with the Johnsons?"

"Now that," I didn't hesitate in responding, "is a long and boring story, one which you really don't want to hear and I don't want to tell."

"Well then I guess that works out well."

"Yes, yes it does."

"Can I get you another beer?" He asked.

"Please." I handed him my empty bottle and he smiled sweetly. Did he have any other kind of smile? I watched as he walked away and I bit my lip before catching Kellie's eye. We briefly communicated silently with our eyes; she knew exactly what I was thinking. We both glanced at my cousin. How was I going to fix this? Jackson returned with two open drinks and handed me one.

"Thanks." I said.

"Don't you think you've had enough Amy?" Benny suddenly asked.

"This is only my second beer Benny. How many have you had tonight?" I retorted.

He paused before continuing. "I didn't even think you liked drinking?"

"That was in high school, when my only friends were my books. Now, I have Kellie."

"Is that supposed to be an improvement?" Jackson joked, trying to relieve the building tension.

"I'm not sure yet." I replied

"Hey." Kellie objected. "I'm a very good friend, much better than some old, lousy text book."

I smiled and looked back at Ben; he clearly was not amused. "I'm fine Benny. I know my limit and I'm nowhere near it yet."

I turned my attention back to Jackson and we continued our game of twenty questions, though now I could feel Benny's eyes boring holes into the back of my head.

A few hours later and a few drinks later we were all still just sitting around talking. Something which may be boring to some, but we found it both fun and relaxing. Kellie had given up on trying to distract Benny and had moved on to making friends with Jerad's wife, and when they left she moved on to Ben Graupner. Jackson and I continued to talk. Our "twenty questions" had turned into story time, and man was I right about him having stories to tell. You wouldn't think, by looking at him, that he would be much of a talker, but give him some alcohol and Jackson would go on, and on, and on about next to nothing.

Sometime around the one o'clock hour, shortly after Jerad and his wife left, I followed Jackson into the kitchen. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and offered me one.

"No thanks." I said. "I think I'll just have some water for a while." He smiled and handed me a cup; I filled it up with tap water. "He still hasn't told me why he invited me this weekend."

"Maybe he just misses having you around." Jackson suggested as he leaned against the counter beside me. "I know I would." I blushed slightly but you couldn't tell because my cheeks were already red from drinking.

"If that's the case, then why does he look so pissed?" I asked.

Jackson sighed. "Probably because I'm monopolizing all of your time. You should go talk to him."

"But I'm talking to you Jackson."

"Go. There's always tomorrow for me to find out more of your secrets."

"As if I'd tell you my secrets."

"We shall see about that. Now go."

"Fine." I took a deep breath and filled my glass back up with water before going to sit next to my cousin on the couch.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi," he replied simply.

"How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

"I'm ok."

"Good."

"So is it just going to be one word sentences between us?"

Benny shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe."

"Great." We were both silent for a few moments; neither of us knew what to say next. "Well this is awkward. Why can't we talk anymore Benny?" I turned so that I was sitting cross legged on the couch and fully facing him.

"Do you remember when we used to stay up late in your room and just talk?" I asked.

He nodded.

"You were the only person I talked to back then. We didn't even talk about anything in particular; we'd just talk. Why can't we talk like that anymore?"

"You're not ten years old anymore Amy."

"No I'm not. I'm twenty-two, which only means that I don't need you hovering over me all the time; it doesn't change how I feel about you."

"Doesn't it?"

"No! I still consider you more of a brother than I do my own biological brother. What's happened Benny? Why won't you talk to me? Why did you stop calling?"

He shook his head slowly. "I was going through some things you wouldn't understand."

"But that's life isn't it? Shit happens. And isn't your family supposed to be there for you when it does happen? I lost someone too you know."

He finally looked up at me, curious.

"You know I've always considered your family to be my own. You guys weren't just my aunt, and my uncle, and my cousin. When Paul died, it was like I lost a father too."

"Yea, but he wasn't your father was he? He was mine."

Suddenly it hit me; I knew what was bothering him. It had been what I once feared. I had intruded upon his life, upon his family. He never really wanted me around. He never really cared about me. I was his project; used for his amusement.

I was furious. I could feel my blood start to boil beneath my skin. My heart raced and my breathing became heavy. I placed my drink on the table and leapt from the couch. I couldn't hold the anger back anymore. I couldn't contain the hurt.

"So that's it isn't it!" I shouted. "That's what the problem is! It's not you, it's me!" The room fell silent as the other conversations paused to listen.

"Amy?" Kellie asked cautiously.

"It was your life!" I continued on. "Your family! I was just an intruder! I was never anything to you! You never cared! Our relationship was never real was it? I was just used for your own personal amusement. 'What crazy messed up things can I get her to tell me about her family today?' That's all you really wanted wasn't it? Something to make your own life a little less miserable, to know that there was someone out there who had it a little worse than you did. To know that there was someone out there who was lower on the totem pole. Maybe I should have never moved to Illinois! Would you have been happy then? Hell! What would have cared, you wouldn't have known me at all then!"

"Amy…Amy maybe you're not seeing things clearly right now." Kellie tried to reason. "Maybe we should step outside and get some fresh air?" She reached out to touch my arm.

"No!" I pulled away. "No Kells. For once dear ole' Benny is coming in loud and clear! He never considered me a part of his family. I was never his sister. Did your mom make you do it?" I asked him. " 'Be nice to her Benjamin. She's had a hard life.' Is that what she whispered to you at the airport? Don't think I couldn't see it. I tried to deny it. I even convinced myself it wasn't true, that I was making more out of then I should. But deep down I think I always knew. God the whole damn town knew my story! And everywhere I went the looks I would get. Looks full of pity and disgust! But I never thought you'd be one of them!" The tears were flowing now; I couldn't stop them.

"Well I'm sorry." I continued. "I'm sorry I ever intruded; but I won't anymore. I'll just walk out that door and never interfere with your life again, if that's what you want." I took his silence as a confirmation.

"Ben, say something." Jackson almost pleaded.

"No, it's ok Jackson. He doesn't have to say anything." I backed away slowly but briskly walked to Ben's bedroom. I began to throw all of mine and Kellie's things into our bags, not even bothering to properly pack them.

"Me-Me, are you ok?" Kellie asked softly. What kind of question was that?

"Just help me pack." I responded. Kellie immediately began to throw things in a bag as well.

"You girls can't leave tonight." Jackson said as he walked in. "Neither of you are fit to drive, and Amy I really think you should take a moment to think about this."

"I'm fine Jackson." It hurt to say his name now; I knew I could never seem him again. "Any buzz I had is gone now. Having an epiphany will do that to you."

"I still insist that you stay another night."

"It doesn't look like that's going to happen." Kellie said calmly. She was sober now too. "If it makes you feel any better, we'll get a hotel. We won't drive all the way back to Berkeley."

"Not really, but if that's what I have to take. At least let me drive you."

"You've had more to drink than we have. We'll be fine. I promise." Kellie assured him.

The bags were packed now; it was time to say goodbye. I could feel Jackson watching me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I wanted to remember seeing him through clear eyes and not through eyes filled with tears. I grabbed my bag and my purse and walked past him and out the front door without saying a word. Kellie followed close behind and whispered a few goodbyes. We didn't stop at a hotel that night like she said we would; Kellie drove all the way home.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Three weeks later**

"Amy, I need you over here!" Chris called out.

"Ok, I'll be there in just a second!" I called back over my shoulder. I turned back to the young trainee in front of me. "Alright, Samantha why don't you clear these tables while I go see what he needs ok."

"Yea, sure." Samantha said and I ran off to help Chris.

I was at work at Papa Bill's where I was head of the waitressing staff. It was Friday and we were swamped with customers. And on top of that we were missing both a waitress and fry guy, and I was training our newest recruit Samantha. It had been three weeks since I stormed out on my cousin, and I hadn't spoken with any of the guys since. Though Jackson had called my cell a few times, I never answered or returned his calls; it was just too painful.

"Pull the fries." Chris said as I approached.

"On it." I answered. I pulled the fires out of the fryer and separated them into their baskets and added salt. When the bell on the door jingled, I looked up just in time to see the four guys that were on the bottom of my "People I Want to See" list.

"Damn." I whispered. "Rachel, can you get the party that just walked in?"

"Sorry, Amy but the pregnant lady got sick in the bathroom; I'm cleaning it up now." Rachel responded, and Kristen, the other waitress on duty, was already helping a table.

"Since when do you pass up a customer?" Chris asked.

"Since all I wanna do is strangle one of them." I responded.

"Oh. Are you gonna be ok to handle it?"

"Yea, yea I'll have Samantha take it."

"Alright. Call me if you need me."

"You know it." I winked. "Samantha!" I grabbed four menus and motioned for Samantha to meet me. "The party that just walked in, you want it?" I handed her the menus.

"Really?" She asked surprised.

"Yea, you've really been catching on. Don't worry I'll be right there with you. You'll do fine. Now come on." I placed my hand on her back and gently guided her to the table where my cousin and his friends were sitting.

"Hi welcome to Papa Bill's. My name is Samantha and I'll be your waitress today. What would you guys like to drink?" Samantha said with a smile as she passed out the menus. I watched from a safe distance and tried to keep my eyes off of Jackson or Ben while Samantha took down their drink orders. Together we filled and delivered them.

"Are you guys ready to order or do you need a few more minutes to look over the menu?" She asked.

"I think we'll need a minute or two." Jerad answered.

"Very well then, signal us when you're ready." I responded hastily before turning Samantha around and heading off.

"Are you ok Amy?" Samantha whispered when we were a safe distance away.

"Yea." I lied "It's just that…my order is out."

"Order out please!" Chris called.

"Thank you!" I replied. "Give me a hand?"

"Yea." Samantha replied.

I put on a smile and went to the kitchen to load up the tray. I had to pull myself together. It was ridiculous to let them affect me this way. I shouldn't let my emotions affect my job; I was better than that. But so many questions were running through my head, the most dominate one being 'why.' Why were they here of all places? Why Berkeley? Why Papa Bill's? Why today?

I had finished passing out the food and refilled all the drinks at my table when I saw Jerad motioning for me to come over. I called for Samantha and she followed me over to the table and took the guys order. Like before, I tried to keep my focus on her. She did very well. She smiled, she was perky, and she tried to up-sell all the right items. When she had all their orders she collected the menus and we turned to leave.

"Amy wait." Benny called out as I was walking away. I stopped in my tracks but kept my back to him. Samantha looked at me warily. I motioned for her to go on without me, and I turned around and slowly walked back to the table.

"Yes Sir, what can I do for you?" I asked formerly.

"Amy please, can we talk?" Why did he have to sound and look so pitiful? He was making this even more difficult.

"I'm sorry Benjamin, but I'm very busy now. I can't afford to waste my time one you." Ouch, that was cold, even for me. I was walking away when I got a pain in the pit of my stomach: guilt. I hated guilt. I sighed, took out my order pad, jotted down a number on the back of one of the sheets, and walked back to the table defeated.

"I'm off at four. If you still wanna talk then, give Kellie a call. She'll let you into the apartment, and you can hang out there." I handed him the slip of paper.

"Thank you." He responded.

"Sure,' was all I could say before walking off again. I didn't return to the table anymore while they were there, and I never really went back to normal after they left. The rest of my lunch shift seemed to rush by and before I knew it, four o'clock had rolled around and I had driven home. I sat in the old impala for a good ten minutes before crawling out; I was trying to stall.

"Honey I'm home!" I called out in a sing-song voice as I entered the front door.

"Oh Darlin' I've missed you so." Kellie threw on a fake accent and greeted me cheerily with two air kisses on each cheek. Ben was already there, along with the others, looking only slightly better than when I saw him at Papa Bill's. I decided to ignore them for the moment; I thought that maybe the best way to not let him affect me was to pretend that he wasn't really there.

"Ooo, Kells I've got something you might like." I pulled out two twenties from my apron pocket.

"Is that for the party box?"

"Yup." Kellie grabbed an old shoe box off the book shelf and I stuffed the twenties through a slit in the top; it was our party box.

"Party box" Ben G asked confused.

"Yea, Me-Me and I are going to throw this huge party at Leo's for graduation. Leo said he'd give us the club at a discounted price and then we could invite whomever we wanted. So every time Amy makes over a certain amount in tips she'll put a twenty into the box, thus our party box." Kellie explained. "Wait, did you just put in forty?"

"Yup." I confirmed.

"Busy day then?"

"Unbelievably. First off, Friday lunch always busy. Second, I was training Samantha. Third, neither Kayla nor Zack showed up for work and neither of them called in sick; they just didn't show. We tried calling Kevin and Kyle but they were both sick. We finally got a hold of Tyler but he didn't get there until 1:30. Meanwhile, Chris is the only cook there so I had to help out on the grill plus cover my own tables, and cover for Kayla, and train Samantha. God I wish people wouldn't be so stupid and hook up with co-workers."

"Kayla and Zack hooked up?"

"That's the rumor at least."

"And you have to work at Leo's tonight don't you?"

"It's Friday isn't it? Oh I'm so exhausted, physically and mentally, and ugh, I hate working the grill because I feel like I'm covered in grease now." I buried my face in my hands.

"Are we still going to talk?" Ben suddenly asked; there was a tremor in his voice, like he was afraid I'd say no.

I wanted to yell at him to buzz off, to tell him I didn't care how he felt, to say go away and leave me alone, but I couldn't. I simply nodded and said: 'yea, give me a minute.' I walked into my bathroom and took a wet wash cloth and began to rub it over the exposed skin. Then I went into my bedroom and changed into fresh clothes. And then I returned to the bathroom and washed again; I was definitely stalling. Finally Kellie came to see what was taking me so long.

"I feel disgusting Kells." I said.

"Well hurry up. I've only been around him for thirty minutes now and already I'm sick of his depression. That boy is downright pitiful. It's like he just found out his dog died or something; or even worse, his sister." She whispered severely.

"Frankly Kellie, I don't really care how he feels and I don't want to speak to him."

"Now look here Miss Amelia Lynn Cox," yikes, my full name. "You are being just as stubborn and cruel to him now, as he was to you three weeks ago! Now get your skinny ass out there and talk to your cousin. Don't make me call your Aunt Suzie, because you know I will."

"I…I can't talk to him in front of everyone." I stammered for an excuse.

"Then take him to the park down the road."

"The park?"

"Yea, that way if you get the urge to strangle him then maybe at least the prospect of witnesses will stop you."

"Fine. You win." I whispered through clenched teeth.

"Damn right I win." Kellie could be pretty frightening when she wanted to be.

I rolled my eyes and walked past her and stepped slowly into the living room. I shoved my thumbs into my back pockets, and shifted all my weight to one leg.

"So, ah, you ready?" I asked.

"Yea." Ben stood up. "Where did you want to talk?"

"There's, ah, a park down the road a little. We could go there. It's public, so maybe I won't hurt you."

"Sounds good." He laughed nervously.

"Right." I nodded as I walked towards the front door. Ben followed behind. We walked to the park in silence, and then we walked through the park in silence. "Maybe we should sit down." He suggested.

"Sure." I said again, and we sat a foot apart on the nearest bench. I was not going to make this easy for him. After a few seconds of just sitting there, Benny let out a heavy sigh.

"Amy I'm sorry." He blurted out. "I…I don't know why I didn't say anything. It was stupid, foolish of me to let you think such ridiculous things."

"Ridiculous things?!" I gasped.

"Amy please, let me finish."

I folded my arms over my chest and fought the tears that suddenly rushed forth.

"Of course I care about you. Of course I think of you as my baby sister. It's ridiculous that you thought otherwise, or rather that I let you think otherwise. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking letting you walk out like that; or maybe the problem is that I wasn't thinking. You've always been like another Johnson… Dad thought so too. You were the little girl he never had; his little princess."

"I'm sorry I stopped calling you. I don't know what happened. I guess I just got busy, the band started taking off, and I never stopped to think of how you would interpret it. I never intended to hurt you, Aims. I didn't call mom either you know. Then she called me one day and mentioned how she couldn't believe you were twenty-two already. I felt like shit when I realized I had missed your birthday. That's why I invited you to the show; I wasn't going to say anything of course, I was too ashamed. I was just hoping you'd enjoy it so much that you'd forget that I forgot."

Benny paused for a moment and I unfolded my arms and stared at the ground below my feet. I was still crying but for a whole other reason now.

"When I saw you drinking the next day," he continued, "I suddenly realized that my little sister wasn't so little anymore, and I panicked. I started thinking of all the things I must have missed; all the guys I couldn't beat up because I wasn't there. When you came over to talk to me, I was so engrossed in my own self pity for not being the brother I promised to always be, that I took it out on you for some reason, and I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

"I've been completely miserable these past three weeks without you as my little sister, and everybody knows it. I haven't been sleeping well; I lay awake at night because every time I close my eyes I see your pain stricken face. It's messing with the band because I can't focus. The guys finally had enough of it so they loaded up the car and drove up here without even telling me where we were going. Kellie had given her number to Kristina, so Jerad called ahead and asked where you were. And Jackson's been in a foul state."

"Jackson?" I suddenly asked; I couldn't contain my curiosity.

"Yea," he was surprised that I was speaking to him. "Yea, I think he blames himself. He says he was the one who convinced you to come talk to me. And he thinks he should have tried harder to make you stay."

I shook my head. "There was only one person who could have made me stay, and he wasn't talking."

"I know. That's exactly what I told him. I'm really sorry Amy."

I looked into his eyes and saw that he was sincere. "I know." I sighed. "I probably wasn't really thinking that night either; I was drinking after all."

"No, I will not let you take the blame for this."

A smile flickered across my face.

"Can you forgive me?"

"Well…." I drug out my response.

"Brat." Benny said playfully as he pushed my shoulder lightly; I laughed.

Benny and I sat on the bench and talked for a while and then we walked around the park and talked some more. Soon the whole incident was behind us and things were back to normal. We talked about life and school and the band. I ranted to him about the insane professors I had and all the work that I still had to do before graduating in a month. And he talked about the band and their hopeful plans for touring this summer. We eventually made it back to the apartment, and when we walked through the door laughing there was a gush of wind as everyone simultaneously let out their held breath.

"He's alive," Jerad said matter-of-factly. "And it appears that he has all his limbs still." Benny flipped him the bird playfully.

"Sorry for rendering your drummer temporarily ineffective." I apologized.

"Eh, just thanks for bringing him back." The other Ben said with a wave of his hand. Jackson was the only one who didn't say anything, and he didn't look as relaxed as the others.

"What do you want for dinner tonight?" Kellie asked.

"I don't know; it's your night to cover dinner." I responded

"Well the guys are stayin so how's pizza sound?"

"Sounds great. You order and I'll shower and get ready for Leo's."

"Leo?" Jackson suddenly sounded worried.

"Yea, you guys only saw me at one of my jobs this morning, a waitress at Papa Bill's Diner. Well I also work at Leo's Lounge as a cocktail waitress. An education at Berkeley isn't free after all."

Jackson looked a little relieved when he found out that Leo was just a job and not something else; Benny looked worried at the mention of cocktail waitress, but he didn't say anything against it.

By the time I had showered, shaved, dressed, and fixed my hair the pizza had arrived. We all ate in the living room because the kitchen table wasn't big enough for all six of us. Jackson kept his distance from me; his reserved attitude must have had to do with me like I had suspected. I knew I needed to apologize, but when, and how? My opportunity came when he went to the kitchen to refill his drink; I casually followed. I tested the waters with a simple 'hey.' He responded with a head nod.

"Okay, I'm just gonna come right out and say it then." I said and he looked at me curiously.

"I was a bitch. I complained to you about how it hurt when Benny wouldn't answer or return my calls, and then I turned around and did the same thing to you. It's just that I didn't think we could still be friends after what had happened. And instead of talking to you and explaining things it seemed easier to just push you away. I know that doesn't excuse my actions but I didn't know what else to do."

Jackson remained quiet for several heart-stopping seconds and I studied his face for any kind of clue as to his reaction.

At last he shrugged his shoulders and said, "A simple 'sorry' would have sufficed."

I smiled, relieved, and said, "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. You were right though; you were a bitch."

"Every girl is at some time or another, usually multiple times a week. And some are just permanent bitches."

"Tell me about it. I've had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting a few." He smiled that earth-shattering, breath-taking, out-of-this-world smile of his, and I about lost all self control.

"So," he looked down at the floor and fiddled with the cup in his hands. "Friends you say?" He kept his head bowed but looked up at me with pleading eyes.

NO! I wanted to scream. No, anything but just friends. I desperately wanted to be more.

"Yes." I answered. "I just got my cousin back I don't want to risk losing him over some guy. That's just silly."

"Right," He nodded. "I understand, and I respect that. Besides, you tell your friends all your secrets anyways. And let's be honest, that's all I'm _really_ after."

"I am not telling you any of my dirty little secrets Jackson."

"I didn't say anything about them being dirty, but now I'm even more curious. You have to tell me something now."

I shook my head and smiled.

"Me-Me the time!" Kellie called out loud enough for me to hear her from the living room. I glanced at the clock on the all. It was already nearly a quarter till nine.

"Shit, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later Jackson."

"Yea, later _friend_." Jackson emphasized with a smile and a wink. Damn. I could already tell that being "friends" with Jackson was going to be a lot easier said than done.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The next four weeks passed by so quickly I barely had time to register them. Shoot, between working at Bill's and Leo's, studying for finals, finalizing my graduate school applications, doing research in the lab with Dr Sivadone, and putting the finishing touches on my senior research project I barely had time to eat or sleep. But somehow I made it through. By some miracle I aced all my classes and passed physical chemistry with a B.

A very high B mind you, an 89.994 to be precise, it should have been rounded to a 90 which would be a very low A but an A nonetheless. However, Dr. Stykes, who has a twelve foot iron rod shoved up his ass, is a lousy excuse for a human being who sits on his high horse and won't change a grade for nothing. Now, I'm not usually this anal about grades, I mean a grade is only someone else's opinion of how well you grasp a certain subject matter, but in this case I honestly believe that I deserved that A but was denied for personal reasons (i.e. I turned him down for a date). Any who, enough about Dr. Stykes; I'm finished with him and I'll never have to see him again, I hope.

Finals were over and graduation day had come…and gone. I had been given two tickets for graduation and so I, of course, invited my Aunt Suzie and Benny. Aunt Suzie could only afford to take two days off work, so she flew in on Thursday morning and spent the day with Kells and I. On Friday Benny drove up for the ceremony and afterwards the three of us had a nice family dinner; Kellie had dinner with her own family. Saturday, around noon, Aunt Suzie flew back to Bartelso and shortly after that the other monkeys drove up for the party that Kellie and I were throwing at Leo's Lounge.

I had managed to save up enough tip money so that Kellie and I could split the party expenses fifty-fifty. Leo had originally wanted to close the lounge to the public and only allow invited party guests, but Kellie and I, being the little study bunnies that we were, didn't really know that many people outside the chemistry building. And getting a bunch chemists together to party doesn't really make things very interesting, so we convinced Leo to open the lounge back up to the public and just inform any non-party guests that tonight wouldn't be your average night at Leo's and they would have to fend for themselves. In other words, there weren't any waitresses on staff that night and only Leo and Darrel were behind the bar making specialty drinks.

The one thing that did remain the same as any other Saturday night at Leo's was the live music, and the music was provided by the 100 Monkeys, who came fully equipped with their own screaming fan girls. It was my second 100 Monkeys concert and once again I wouldn't be able to remember much of it; the first time was thanks to the killer headache I got, this time it was because I was partying too much, well I wouldn't really call it "too much," it seemed just enough to me. One thing I knew I would never be able to forget, no matter how much alcohol was in my system, was how damn good lookin' Jackson was.

That evening he donned a grey button down dress shirt, black tie, dark jeans, and cowboy boots. His smile was as gorgeous as ever, and his eyes were especially bright. Throughout the concert, I couldn't tear my eyes away from Jackson for more than what it took to ask Leo for another beer. With each passing minute my desire for Jackson grew stronger. I was lost in a daze as I watched his fingers glide effortlessly over the keyboard or strum away at the guitar. There was no denying it; I wanted Jackson, and I wanted him bad. How was I going to keep up the "friends" charade for Benny?

"Whoooo!" Kellie screamed with the rest of the monkey crowd as the song ended. "Isn't this amazing?"

"Completely." I responded dully.

"What's the matter Amy? You look pained."

"I am. I can't do this Kells. I can't be friends with him. What was I thinking?"

"Well that's easy you weren't, and I think you mean you can't be _just_ friends with him. There's nothing wrong with friends with benefits. Hell, that's what you and Dillon are, except he's still dreaming of the day when you decide to be more. That boy would marry you today if you'd let him." She rambled.

"Kells, why are you talking about Dillon when I'm having a total Jackson melt down?"

"Right, sorry, Jackson. So tell me again, why did you tell Jackson that you just wanted to be friends?"

I bowed my head in shame. "Buhenny." I mumbled.

"What?"

"Benny." I said more clearly.

"Oh. I thought you guys worked things out?"

"We did. We talked things over, and he knows that I drink now and that I'm into guys, but he just doesn't know _how_ into guys I am."

"Again I think you mean how guys are _in_ to you."

"Definitely not." I shook my head and it felt like a sack of potatoes was being tossed about inside. "Kells, how am I going to fix this? I mean just look at him, he's so damn beautiful."

"I am far too gone to give any good advice right now Me-Me, but I think you've just gotta go for it because clearly you're about to burst." She laughed at my torment.

"You know what," I laughed back, "I think that is the best damn advice you've ever given me. I think I'm just gonna go up to him and say: 'Hey, Jackson, you wanna get outta here with me cause I totally just want to screw your brains out right now.'"

"Hey, it might work." Kellie laughed.

"Certainly forthcoming and assertive, guys like that don't they?" I laughed with her. We were so wrapped up in our laughter that we didn't even notice that the band had finished playing or that Ben and Jackson had joined our group.

"What's so funny?" Benny asked as Jackson lifted the bottle of Bud Light to his lips and took a swig.

"Nothing," Kellie answered; I was too preoccupied with watching Jackson.

"Didn't seem like nothing."

"It's an _inside_ joke." Kellie and I giggled and the boys looked confused. "Now I'm truly sorry Me-Me, but I've got to leave you now."

"What are you talking about Kells?" I gripped her arm. I didn't think I could keep up the friends act for very long without her.

"I've been having my own melt down and now I'm going to go take my own advice and go for it." She broke my grip and stumbled away.

I was so jealous of her; she was going to get her fix and I was left alone with my cousin and my torturer. Though, I suppose if you wanted to be technical about it I was my own torturer because I was the one who so foolishly said 'let's just be friends.' Either way, I was just tossed to the wolves by my best friend.

I cautiously took a swig of my own beer to calm my nerves; it didn't help much.

"So, that was a great show." I stammered. "At least I think it was. Everything's kinda muddled right now." Jackson chuckled and nodded in understanding. Benny just smiled feebly.

"Aims," Benny began in his lecturing voice, but I interjected before he could say anymore.

"I warned you Benny. I told you I had only one thing in mind for tonight and that was to get shit-face drunk because it's my damn graduation party and that was my prerogative." My words were slurred together as I tried to be forceful.

"I was just going to say congratulations again."

"Oh, well thanks Benny. That's very sweet of you."

"That's our Benny. He's just bursting with sweetness." Jackson teased as he pinched Benny's cheek.

Benny smacked Jackson's hand away from his face. "If you'll excuse me, I have to piss."

And then it was just Jackson and I as Benny walked off. Jackson took another swig of his beer and I mimicked with my own; he smirked. I really didn't think I could keep up the act now, and I really didn't think I wanted to. But maybe I wouldn't be so forthcoming as I said would. Perhaps I could go about it more smoothly.

"So I have this new theory I'm testing and I'm looking for some candidates. Maybe you could help me." I said.

"Oh, and what's that?" he asked curiously.

"Well you see, my friend, well she told me that things are _bigger_ in Texas and I wanted to see if she was right."

"Did she now? And what sort of things are we talking about?"

"Ah, you know," I looped two fingers in one of his belt loops and pulled his waist to mine; he steadied himself by placing his free hand on the small of my back; I let a finger gently stroke his protruding hip bone; "_things_," I finished my sentence with a simple shrug and an innocent smile.

Jackson tried to hide his sudden lack of breath by taking another swig of beer. I continued to gently stroke his hip, and he kept his hand planted firmly on back; it was almost as if he were trying to pull me closer actually. In fact, our pelvises were so close that I could feel him swell slightly as my fingers dipped below his jeans.

"And, uh, how exactly did you want me to help?" He struggled to keep his words clear and his voice even.

"Well, I was wondering if you knew of any good Texan boys who would be willing to participate in my little study."

"And what kind of study would it be?"

"Hands on testing mostly. They'd have to be able to take the heat because it could it hot, really hot." His breathing became hurried and uneven. "So, can you think of anybody?"

"Actually, there is one that comes to mind." He wrapped his arm more fully around my waist.

"Oh really? Do you think you could introduce us? I'm really anxious to meet him."

He grinned devilishly, his eyes shimmering with lust, and shifted his beer to the hand behind my back. I could feel the cold wetness soaking through my thin shirt. He wiped his hand off his pants leg and handed it to me for a shake.

"The name's Jackson Rathbone." He smiled.

"Hmm, it's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Rathbone." I smiled back and shook his hand.

"Do you want to get out of here?" He asked with a nod towards the door.

"Hell yes, but I can't drive and I don't have a car."

"Hmm, I don't have a car here either. We all came together." Damn. Stupid monkeys and their carpooling.

"Hold on, I have a solution for this. I'll just be a minute." I gently removed his hand from my waist.

"Hurry back, you've kind of gotten me wiled up now."

I grinned, perfect. I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Just occupy your thoughts with my dirty little secrets because you're about to learn a few first hand." I finished off the rest of my beer in one gulp and walked away.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I walked deeper into the crowd in search of my date. I caught Kellie's eye as I walked by; she was working on some guy, I couldn't tell who, and she smiled at me. I spotted Dillon standing near a booth talking to some friends. I strutted over to him and slid an arm around his waist as I came to stand in front of him. I rubbed my hands up his chest slowly and brought them to rest on his shoulders. He smiled down at me.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I smiled back sweetly; well at least it wasn't the kind of smile I had a few minutes ago when I was talking to Jackson. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Yea? And what's that?"

"I need to borrow your car for the night."

"Are you sure you're fit to drive?"

"Not in the least bit, but that's why I won't be driving." I slurred slightly.

"Ah, so you've met somebody then?"

"Well, I've actually known him for a while, but, uh, I needed a little liquid courage."

"I know you to be a lot of things Amy, and shy isn't one of them."

"Well, there's still a lot you don't know about me Dillon."

"Perhaps." He stuck a hand into his pocket. "Do you trust him?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"So he's not some secret axe murderer or anything."

"Not in secret." I laughed to myself.

"As long as you know what you're getting yourself into, I guess. Alright, here you go." He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and dropped them into my open hand.

"Oh thanks Dillon, wait are you going to be ok?"

"Eh, don't worry your pretty little face about me sug. There's this cute little cheerleader who's been eyeing me all night. I'll be fine."

"Great! You rock Dillon."

"I know, now go have fun."

I smiled and gave Dillon a quick peck on the corner of his mouth. I started making way back to Jackson, and thought it best to take a detour to Kellie first. When I spotted her again she was talking with Ben Graupner. I walked up behind her, slid both arms around her waist, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and rested my head on her shoulder. A grin spread across Ben's face and I could see the mental image that just flashed through his head.

"Have you seen my cousin?" I asked him.

"He's around here somewhere." He responded.

"Well that's real helpful." Kellie sassed.

"Last time I saw him he was near the bar, talking to some brunette." He said more specifically.

"Thanks." I smiled wider and Kellie noticed.

"You're mighty happy." She said.

I nodded. "Let's just say that my melt down is about to get a lot hotter."

"Oooo." Kellie cheered and Ben looked confused.

"Cover for me?" I asked.

"And what should my story be?"

"Tell him I wasn't feeling well. He saw me, he'll buy it."

"And what about for the other?"

"Oh I don't know what you're going to say about him. Maybe he can help?" I nodded towards Ben G.

"I'm sure he could." Kellie let her eyes roam over Ben's body; he didn't seem to mind one bit."Alright girl I gotta go."

"Go have your fun."

"That's the plan."

"See you in the morning."

"Not too early." It was my turn to smile devilishly and Kellie laughed.

I left Kellie and Ben and started walking back to Jackson; he was still patiently waiting where I had left him, like a loyal puppy dog waiting for his master to return. I didn't make it all the way back to him but caught his eye instead and motioned for him to follow me outside. That way in case Benny was watching, he wouldn't see us leaving together. I was making my way through the parking lot when Jackson caught up with me.

"So what's the deal?" He asked eagerly.

"I got us a car and Kells is covering for us."

"Gotta love that Kells."

"Oh I do." I came to a sudden stop in front of a car and turned to Jackson. I placed the keys gently into his hand but continued to hang on to them.

"It's a stick." I said simply. "Now, I know I can ride it, but can you drive it?"

Jackson's smile turned into a cheeky smirk as his confidence overflowed and he responded. "Oh I can drive it."

"We shall see." I released the keys and climbed into the passenger side.

I don't really remember much of the drive back to the apartment, except that we couldn't seem to get there fast enough. When we did arrive though, I could feel the full force of the alcohol catching up to me. I leaned my head against the cool outside wall as Jackson unlocked the front door. When he finally had it open I slowly staggered my way to the kitchen and fixed a large glass of water. Jackson followed behind.

"You don't do this very often do you?" He asked.

"What? Get shit faced? No. I usually only have enough to have fun because I usually have work the next day, and running around an eighty degree diner with a hangover is not fun."

"That sounds like personal experience talking."

I nodded, very slowly. "One time was all it took to learn my lesson. But don't worry Jackson," I could tell by his face that he was. "The night is not over yet. Besides, blood alcohol concentration is all relative anyways. You see alcohol has a strong affinity for water and it will neutralize in it. So if you increase the water concentration in the body then you decrease the alcohol concentration. It's the simplest way to sober up, just drink lots of water." I held up my cup and finished it off before refilling it.

"Damn."

"What?"

"Even when you're, as you so eloquently put it, shit faced, you're still smart as hell."

I smiled. "Trust me that took some effort. But it's your basic organic chemistry."

Jackson nodded like he understood. "And that is…?"

I shook my head and finished off the second glass of water before walking closer to Jackson. I picked up his tie in one hand and fiddled with his collar with the other.

"Now Jackson," I said softly. "Why talk chemistry when we could talk anatomy?"

"Anatomy? Now there's a science I could always get in to." His hand found its way back to my waist and it played with the hem of my shirt.

"Hmmm." I smiled blissfully as his fingers graced my skin. "But first, a visit to the treasure trove is in order."

"The treasure trove?" he questioned.

I took his hand and led him down the hallway to a closet. I stretched as far as I could and pulled down a shoe box. I turned to face Jackson, box in hand.

"The treasure trove." I lifted the lid to reveal a collection of condoms, lubricants, and flavored body lotions. "Kellie and I are scientists; we both know the possible ramifications of having unprotected sex."

"I see." He gazed into the box. "I don't have a problem that. Do you have a preference for one brand over the other?"

"They're all pretty much the same to me, just take what you need." He gazed into the box for a little while longer. "I could close my eyes if you're shy."

"No thanks, this will do." He grabbed a packet from the box and I closed the lid and returned it to its spot on the shelf.

"Now, this way." I led him back down the hall to my room where I hung my Do Not Disturb sign on the door and locked us in.

Jackson wrapped both arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. I placed my hands on his chest. When he breathed deeply, I could feel his hot breath brush across my skin and chills ran down my spine. He cupped my face in his hands and looked deep into my eyes. I stared back into his.

"Are you sure about this Amy?" He asked very seriously. "I don't want to be taking advantage of you because you've had too many to drink."

I tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and traced his jaw line with my thumb.

"Jackson," I said, "these feelings aren't just alcohol induced. Thank you for your concern, and it is that quality of yours that is a reason why, right now, I can think of nothing else that I want more…than you."

He took a moment to consider my words, staring deep into my eyes the whole time. I tried not to blink, afraid that he might take it as sign of untruthfulness. At last, a hungry smile spread across his face.

"I was really hoping you'd say that." He pressed his lips firmly against mine, my head spun with a rush of hormones, before carrying me to the bed.

***~***

When I opened my heavy eyes the next morning, my head still buzzing from the night before, I could tell by the position of the sun's rays on my floor that the sun was already well into the sky. I slowly became aware of an extra set of lungs breathing gently and quietly behind me. As I breathed in I could feel extra weight around my waist; I glanced down to find a bare arm draped casually across my bare stomach.

I turned over slowly to lie on my back, and looked over my right shoulder at Jackson. He still lay sound asleep, the thin white sheet hung loosely about his body. I peeked under the sheet and smiled at the sight that met my eyes; his beautiful naked body. I thought of several good ways of waking him up, but he looked too peaceful for me to actually follow through with any of them.

I slowly moved out from under his arm, using one of the fallen pillows as a replacement, and carefully crawled out of bed. As I scanned the room, the events of the night came rushing back. The bed spread had been kicked off the bed, and the sheets only covered half of the bed now. Articles of clothing had been tossed about in the fury of removing them from the body. Pillows were scattered around the bed. And in the air there was still the smell of sex. Oh man what a night it had been.

I threw on the nearest shirt I could find and stumbled to the door; I was still a little drunk, or maybe I was just having difficulty walking for other reasons. I paused at the door and pressed my ear against it. All was silent; Kellie probably wasn't even home yet. I made my way to the kitchen where I proceeded to fix myself a tall glass of water and take my daily pills, and a few Tylenol.

I stood leaning against the counter massaging my temple and smiling as I relived last night or at least what I could remember of it, when I heard soft footsteps coming down the hall. I straightened up and pulled the shirt down some, making sure everything was still fully covered. I knew that before the party Kellie said she wasn't planning on coming home, so if Jackson was still asleep in my bed then who was walking down the hall now?

Of course it was Kellie; I guess like mine, her plans had changed as well. She leaned her head against the refrigerator and smiled coyly. She was still feeling the alcohol too. I silently fixed her a glass of water and handed her her medicine. She smiled appreciatively. We stood there in silence trying to wake up and drinking our water.

"Did you have a nice night?" She finally asked.

"What I remember of it."

"And what do you remember?"

"Nothing before I got home, but it's like once we crossed that threshold everything became crystal clear." I bit my lip as once again the memories flowed through my head.

"Ooo, I hear juicy details coming on."

"I'm not sharing any juicy details Kells. I don't kiss and tell."

"Since when? Come on, you have to give me something. Please." She set her cup down and grabbed one of my arms. "Please, please, please…" she started begging louder, and louder. I had to say something just to shut her up.

"Ok, ok. I can tell you one thing, but just one thing."

"That's all I'm asking for."

"Well," I paused for dramatic effect, "things are definitely bigger and better in Texas." Kellie squealed with excitement and I had to plug my ears.

"Hey now, keep it down. Some of us are still trying to sleep." A masculine voice, that wasn't Jackson's, said suddenly. Looks like Kellie had brought someone home with her. I'm sure I looked like a deer caught in headlights as none other than Ben Graupner walked around the corner in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts.

"Morning Ben." I said as I looked to Kellie; she just smiled and shrugged. Of course Jackson then chose that moment to join us in the kitchen; he was only wearing clothes from the waist down.

"Amy have you seen my…" Jackson let his question trail off as he saw that I was not alone. "Ben G. wha…what are you doing here so early?"

Kellie smiled and waved.

"Never mind." He answered his own question.

"J. Action." Ben nodded to Jackson and then looked back at me. "I thought that shirt looked familiar."

I ignored Ben to the best of my abilities. "I guess you were looking for this?" I asked Jackson as I lifted the shirt away from my skin a little.

"Yea, I was but uh, guess I've found it now." He answered.

"Yea, I couldn't find mine." I fibbed.

"It ended up under the bed somehow. I found it when I was looking for that."

"Oh."

"When do you think I'll be able to get that back?" he pointed to the shirt.

"Oh I don't know, perhaps when you can convince me that it would be worthwhile to give it back."

"Ok, and that is our cue to leave. Come on Ben." Kellie put her hands on Ben's chest and pushed him out of the kitchen and down the hall.

"And what exactly," Jackson slowly walked over to me. "Do I have to do," he let his hands slide up my thighs, "to convince you," and under the shirt, "to give it back." He brushed his cheek against mine and his breath fell against my neck, once again sending chills down my spine.

"I'm sure you'll think of something." I traced the outline of his chest with my fingers.

I struggled to remain in control as he began to leave soft kisses down my neck, and up again, and along my jaw line making his way to my lips. He teased my lips with his own, but he didn't stay there long. Breathing became a difficult task as he moved his lips back down my jaw and focused on the spot just below my ear lobe. He was a quick learner. A small whimper escaped my lips and I could feel him chuckle softly.

"Fine. You win. You can have it back if you'll just kiss me already." I didn't have to tell him twice as his lips came crashing back to mine, much like they had last night. He gently lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. He managed to carry me back to my room, slowly. He had almost managed to open the door when suddenly there came a loud banging from the front door.

"Amy are in there? Amy open up? You can't still be asleep."

Benny!


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Shit!" I whispered. Jackson gently set me down on my feet and starred at me with wide eyes. "Shit, shit, shit!"

"Amy!" Benny continued pounding on the door.

"One minute!" I yelled back. "I have to get dressed you asshole!"

I threw open my bedroom door and removed Jackson's shirt as quickly as I could and tossed it at him. I scrambled into my own clothes, not even bothering to consider what kind of clothes they were, and went back into the living room

"Amy what about me?" Jackson asked.

"Damn it!" I turned back to him. "Stay in the bedroom for now Jackson. I'll find some way to sneak you out as soon as I can, but until then just stay in there and stay quiet." I closed the door on him as Kellie and Ben G. came into the living room; thankfully Ben G was now fully dressed.

"Amy." Benny's voice came through the door. I slowly walked over.

"Here goes nothing." I whispered towards Kellie; she mouthed a 'good luck.' I unlocked the door and stepped aside. Benny rushed through and Jerad followed at a slower pace.

"My god Amy! Where have you been? I called like ten times and you didn't answer. Where did you disappear to last night?" Benny gripped my shoulders and continued on with his tirade of questions. Jerad had an apologetic look on his face.

"Benny would you please stop shaking me; the room doesn't need your help to spin." He released my shoulders. "I'm sorry I didn't answer you calls but I only just woke up. And I left Leo's in a hurry because I started feeling ill."

"Oh." He took a step back and took in my mismatched clothes and my disheveled hair. Apparently I thoroughly looked the part of a hung-over graduate because Benny sighed in relief and relaxed his shoulders.

"Well I hope you learned your lesson." He said.

"Benny, I don't need a lecture from you right now. Trust me, this is torture enough."

Benny nodded and looked around the room absentmindedly. A puzzled look crossed his face when he saw Ben G there already.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. He looked at me and finally saw the panic in my face, and his eyes narrowed.

"He came home with me." Kellie spoke up, and Ben G nodded. Benny relaxed again.

"Have any of you seen Jackson? He kind of disappeared on us last night too." Jerad said, speaking for the first time. Damn you Jerad. Kellie and Ben G both denied seeing Jackson, but I remained silent. Benny turned to me and asked me a question.

"Hmm?"

"Have you seen Jackson? I left him talking to you last night." Benny said.

I shook my head. "Honestly Benny, I don't remember much of anything last night but the inside of my toilet bowl."

"Huh, try calling his cell phone again." Benny told Jerad.

Oh god I hoped Jackson hadn't turned it on yet.

"I need to use the bathroom. Do you mind Amy?" Benny didn't wait for a response as he headed for my bedroom. I rushed to beat him to it.

"No!" I threw hands out to block him.

"Amy…"

"The bathroom is still a mess. I haven't had time to clean it. You'll have to use Kellie's."

"I'll show you where it is." Kellie stepped forth and grabbed Benny by the hand and led him to her room.

Once Kellie had closed the door on him I quickly opened mine and found Jackson waiting by the door. I pulled him from the room and ushered him to the front door; I could hear Jerad's surprised gasp as I did so. I opened the front door and pushed Jackson out.

"You have to go Jackson." I said.

"Go where?" he asked.

"I don't know, but Benny can't know that you were here. He's not ready for that yet."

"Amy, how am I supposed to leave? I don't have a car remember?"

"Ugh, here." I shoved a pair of keys into his hand. "The car we took last night, take it. I don't know where, but you just have to leave. I'm sorry."

"Amy,"

"Jackson just go. Benny'll be…"

"Jackson. There you are." It was Benny.

"Shit!" I whispered under my breath.

"Yea, uh, I just got here." Jackson said without conviction.

I turned around in a whirl. "Isn't that weird?" I asked. "I mean you were just talking about him and then POOF up he pops. So weird. Scary weird. I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Cause I'm starved. I don't even know if I ate anything last night. I want pancakes. Do you remember when mom used to make us pancakes every Saturday morning? They were the best, weren't they? I want some pancakes. Who's up for pancakes?" I was talking way too fast and I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself.

"I'm going to go make pancakes." I pointed to the kitchen and hurried off.

"I'm going to go help." Kellie said as she hastily followed me.

"Er—ok." Benny responded. I heard Ben G. utter a faint 'girls' as I walked into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen I sank to my knees by the sink and buried my face in my hands. I muttered 'shit' repeatedly as Kellie looked on. I could faintly hear what the guys were talking about in the living room. Benny had asked Jackson where he had been all night, and Jackson had responded with "nowhere in particular."

At which point Jerad spoke up to cover for him and said "don't lie J. Action. I saw you talking to that little red head."

I could hear Jackson let out a nervous little laugh as he said, "well, you know me."

I tuned them out as the conversation moved on to other things. I made a mental note to tell Jerad that I loved him while continuing to mutter 'shit' into my hands.

"Is that helping at all?" Kellie asked.

"A little," I responded. "Kells I'm in a right foul pickle right now and I don't know what to do."

"Hmmm, why don't you try telling Ben the truth for once?" She said it like it was so obvious.

"What, that his baby cousin just had friggin amazing sex with one of his best friends? No way. You saw the look on his face when he thought Ben G and I had done something. He was ready to murder him. Plus, he saw me drunk off my ass last night. He'd never believe that it was consensual or that I was the one who initiated it. There's no way I could tell him. Besides, I don't even know what Jackson and I are right now."

"So then, what are you going to do?"

"For now… I'm going to make pancakes like I said I would." I got to my feet and began to scramble around the kitchen making pancakes.

***~***

I made a mixture of regular pancakes and banana pancakes, where I threw in a few banana slices into the batter. I even made a few pancakes with chocolate chips as per Kellie's request. We sat around the coffee table in the living room to eat. Everyone seemed to be perfectly at ease and was actively engaged in the conversation, everyone but me that is. I was still ill at ease, worried that Benny would discover the truth of Jackson's whereabouts last night and that I would be solely responsible for breaking up the 100 Monkeys, or at least ruining a perfectly good friendship.

During our breakfast, or lunch since it was closer to noon when we ate, Dillon came by to pick up his car. There was an awkward moment as he bent down to kiss me and I turned my head, offering only my cheek. Benny had a few questions about that, but I insisted that Dillon was only a friend, and Jackson finally looked as uncomfortable as I had been feeling since Benny's arrival.

After eating, Kellie somehow convinced the guys to stay another night in Berkeley, offering up our apartment as a place to crash, and to return to Leo's t to help us clean up. And so, later that afternoon we all went down to the lounge and set to work. Well the guys more or less just played around and Kellie and I had to do most of the cleaning. Jackson did, however, take advantage of Benny's distraction to talk to me.

"I hope you know that it takes a little more than talking about me to make me 'pop up.'" Jackson said from behind my back.

"Well it didn't take much last night." I replied. I finished wiping the table down and straightened up.

"We had just finished a show. The adrenaline was still flowing. Plus I had been drinking."

I cocked my head. "So you slept with me because you had been drinking?"

"NO, no, no, no, no that's not what I said or meant. I just… you see…I uh…shit!" He stammered over his words; I smiled and walked off to clean another table. I was halfway done when he finally rejoined me.

"You're not really mad are you." It wasn't a question, but a statement. I turned around smiling, and shrugged.

"Oh, now that was just cruel."

"Whatever are you talking about Mr. Rathbone?" I faked innocence and moved on to the next table; Jackson followed.

"So, about that Dillon character?"

"He's a friend Jackson."

"Just a friend?"

I paused. "No, not just a friend, but he'll never be anything more. We've only actually slept together a few times and it wasn't all that good. He's just too preppy for me. I prefer a man with a little edge to him, maybe even a tattoo."

"I have a tattoo." Jackson grinned.

"So I noticed. You've also got this very cute freckle on your left butt cheek." I walked off again, this time to the kitchen, out of Benny's line of sight. And once again Jackson followed me.

"I do not." He protested.

"Yea you do."

"Well, you're not the only one who noticed things last night. I noticed a few things as well."

"Really? Like what?"

"Well for one, you have an interesting scar here." He gently traced the u shaped scar that was located on my right side; my face paled.

"You weren't supposed to see that."

"My apologies, but, well you know I saw a lot of you last night." He let his hand drop to my waist. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's just an old childhood scar. It happened a long time ago, in North Carolina. It's not important." I was a terrible liar. "Was that all you noticed last night? A silly little scar?"

"No." He leaned in. "I also noticed that your neck is a very sensitive area because when I do this," he breathed on my exposed neck gently, "you get goose bumps. And when I kiss you here," he kissed the spot just below my ear lobe lightly, "you lose control and give in." He continued to kiss the area like he did this morning when he wanted his shirt back.

"Jah…Jack…Jackson." I stammered breathless. "Buh…enny is just in the other rah…room."

"Ok… I'll stop," he pulled back ever so slightly, "but I just want to know one thing."

"You already know too much."

"Can I come see you tonight?" He continued without hesitation.

"You're staying at my apartment."

"Yea I know, but Johnson falls asleep pretty easily, and what's better he stays asleep. So, I ask again, can I come see you?"

I knew I should say no. It was too risky. What if Benny wasn't really asleep when Jackson left? What if somehow he found out? What if he saw us together? No was the correct response; no is what I should have said.

"Please?" he asked

I nodded my head. "Yea, I'll leave the door unlocked." He smiled and kissed me tenderly before turning to leave. I began to laugh softly and he turned around, puzzled.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing, it's just…I told you I would leave you begging for more."

He grinned devilishly, and we both went back to work.

***~***

Later that night, Jackson did come into my room and it was just as amazing as it had been the first time around.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Are we there yet?" Kelli complained from the passenger seat of her BMW 335d. "My butt is numb."

"Oh don't complain to me missy, this was your crazy idea. I mean really, Philly?" I responded.

It was summertime, which for me usually meant spending all my time in a hot sweaty diner or serving drunken men in a crowded bar while Kellie soaked up the sun down at the beach, but this year was different. This summer Kellie had somehow convinced me travel nearly three thousand miles with her to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

"The monkey boys are in Philly." Kellie said simply. "Don't you want to show your sweet, sexy cousin your support?"

I rolled my eyes. "Benny knows very well that I'm his second biggest fan."

"Only his second?"

"His mom's the first."

"Oh, right. Well Jackson's in Philly." She argued. I couldn't help but smile and blush. "So what's up with you two anyways?"

"I don't know Kells. I mean we had this amazing sex, twice, and then he just up leaves for Philly like two days later. It's like he couldn't get far enough away from me fast enough."

"Jackson's working in Philly; he has a movie he's filming." She reasoned.

"Yea but, it's just that…well, he left kinda fast and he was just like 'Yea that was fun. Thanks. I'll call ya sometime.'" I mimicked in my 'guy' voice.

"And has he called you?"

"Well yea… a few times. We don't really talk very long and we certainly don't talk about us or what happened." I sighed. "I don't know Kells. It's just that, with Jackson, it felt different. It didn't feel casual. It was almost natural, like maybe it was supposed to be."

"Well, it's not like this would be the first time you've had casual sex Me-Me."

"You make it sound like I'm a whore."

"No just a slut, whores get paid for sex." She said matter-of-factly. I responded by slapping her leg a few times. "But really Me-Me, take it from me…"

"You mean a person with a lot of experience on this matter." I interrupted.

"Exactly." My insult had no affect on her. "Maybe you're making it out to be more than what it was supposed to be. Maybe it was just sex?" She smiled apologetically and I frowned slightly. "Or maybe I'm completely wrong and what you felt was chemistry. Maybe you and Jackson are destined to be; maybe you're madly in love with each other and haven't realized it yet. Maybe you'll get married and have lots of amazing sex and make lots of little Jackson babies."

"Yea and maybe Benny will find out and go on a monkey murdering rampage."

"Maybe or maybe he'd be really happy for you. There's a world of possibilities Amy, and you never really know what's going to happen until it happens." We were both quiet as I contemplated her words."But for now, will you just hurry up and get there. I have to pee!" She added with a slight plea.

*~*

A half hour later, after four days of cross country driving, we finally arrived at the new Monkey place in Philly. I phoned Benny as we pulled up and when Kellie and I walked through the front door it was to find him, Ben G., and Jerad sitting around the kitchen table with pad and paper; Jackson was apparently still at work. Benny got up to greet us, but Kellie brushed him off.

"Yea, yea where's your bathroom?" She said hurriedly.

"Down the hall, second door on the right." Benny responded and Kellie rushed off. "Nice to see you Aims."

"It's good to see you too." I said as we embraced. "Hey guys."

"Hi." Jerad smiled.

"Pull up a chair." Ben G offered.

"Uh, I've been sitting in a car since eight this morning; I think I'll stand for a while." I replied. "But thanks anyways."

"Yea, those cross country road trips can be hellacious can't they?" Benny joked.

"I still don't understand why Kellie insisted on driving all the way out here when we could have flown."

"Because then we wouldn't have a car when we got here, duh." Kellie said as she joined us in the kitchen.

"It's called a rental, duh." I replied.

"Yea but… it wouldn't be _my_ car." She pouted; I rolled my eyes. "Oh, what are you working on?" Kellie asked the guys.

"Just writing some new stuff." Jerad responded.

"Oh, new songs, awesome."

"I see how it is. You guys sit around and do all the hard work, while Jackson gets all the credit." I said.

"Pretty much." Benny agreed with a laugh.

"I have something for you by the way," I told Benny. "Well something to show you rather, it doesn't have to be now though."

"Ooo, you have something for me too." Kellie piped in. "You said I'd get it in Philly, and we're in Philly so can I have it now?"

"Chill, Kells. I have something for guys as well but you will all get it at the same time, and they all have to be here first."

"Eh, it's just Jackson. You don't have to wait for him. He gets all the glory anyways, right?" Ben G smiled.

Just then Jackson came through the front door. "I heard my name. Who was taking about me? I hope it was all good stuff." He said.

"Well first there would have to be something good to say about you." Kellie replied.

"Ooo, what did I do to you?" He placed his hand over his heart.

"You haven't done a damn thing to me Jackson, and that is the problem."

"Well, ah, I have some free time now. Why don't you say we ah," He clicked his teeth and nodded down the hall.

"Hmmm, as tempting as that sounds I think I'd rather have my present." She turned to me with wide eyes.

"Present?"

"Shit, you know what I think I left it in Cali." I teased.

"You liar." She pushed my arm playfully.

"Alright, it's in the car. I'll go get it." I walked out to retrieve two thin packages from the car and Jackson followed.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked.

"No, I just left Annabelle in the car." He replied.

"Annabelle?"

"My guitar." He pulled her from the backseat and held her up.

"You named your guitar?"

"Yea, doesn't everybody?"

"What is it with guys and naming things?"

"It's all about building up the male ego. If you've noticed, all the names are usually female. So if we start throwing off different names, Annabelle, Stacy, Luanne, unless people know otherwise they'll just think they're women we've slept with."

"Right. Makes perfect sense. After all, guys are supposed to sleep with lots of girls and yet the girls are supposed to remain virgins. How that works out, I'm not really sure."

"Yea, well…" He trailed off. "You better get back inside and give Kellie her present."

"One of these is for you too; well you have to share it with the rest of the guys but still."

"I love presents. What is it?" He asked as he held the door open for me.

"You'll have to open it to find out."

When we walked through the door we saw that the guys had migrated to the living room. I handed one package to Benny and the other to Kellie; her eyes widened with excitement. Kellie began to gently break the tapped edges but Benny ripped the wrapping off and pulled out a glossy magazine. He scrunched up his eyes as he read the title.

"Optometry?"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" Kellie squealed as she finally removed the same magazine. "No way no way no way!" I knew Kellie would enjoy it more, but then again she was a scientist as well; Benny looked confused.

"Turn to page 298." I said, barely containing my own excitement. Both Kellie and Benny quickly flipped to the instructed page.

"Hey that's you." Benny said as he found my picture.

"Ahhhh!" Kellie screamed as she jumped up and threw her arms around my neck. Benny still looked confused.

"It's the research project I've been working on all year with Dr. Sivadone." I explained. "That's him in the picture with me; he was my advisor. See, part of the project requirements is that you have to type up a report as if you were going to submit to an appropriate journal. And well, with Dr. Sivadone's encouragement I actually submitted mine. Which was me totally going out on a limb because they never accept an undergrad's article, mostly they like to stick with the professionals and the doctors, but they accepted my report and published it."

"So she's like a real scientist now. She has her own published article; it's like getting a song on the radio." Kellie added.

"I don't know if it's that great Kells. I mean only a hundred people will probably ever read it and only thirty will actually care about it."

"Don't be so modest Aims. This is really great. I'm proud of you." Benny said as he wrapped me in a hug.

"Yea," I bit my lip. "It is pretty freakin' awesome." The other guys congratulated me as well, though Kellie still seemed to be the most ecstatic. Ben G left shortly after to pick up dinner down at the local Chinese restaurant and Benny and Jerad got into something or another. Jackson went to sit on the now vacant couch, and Kellie took over the arm chair as she began to read my article.

"Optometry huh?" Jackson asked as I went to sit next to him.

"It's the science dealing with…"

"The eyes, I know. I've had to go an optometrist before; you know color blind and all."

"Amy wants to be an optometrist." Kellie blurted out.

"Really?" Jackson sounded curious.

"Yea, which means back to school for me. Yay."

"Well that sounds _very_ enthusiastic." Jackson said with sarcasm.

"It's just the whole prospect of _school_."

"Yea, I hear ya. So, will you be sticking around Berkeley for another few years then?"

"No, she's going to Houston." Kellie butted in again.

"Actually I haven't decided yet." I corrected.

"The University of Houston?" Jackson asked.

"They have the best Optometry School around." Kellie explained.

"Berkeley has a good program too." I said.

"What do you have against Texas?" Jackson asked.

"I don't have anything against Texas." I blushed slightly. "It's just, going to Houston means starting all over, a new school, new professors, new apartment, new job, new friends. I have it made in Berkeley."

"Yea, but you really want to go to Houston. I can tell." Kellie added.

"Houston would be great, but I have until the fifteenth of July to decide."

"Just, make the choice that's right for you Amy. Don't let anyone influence your decision, no matter what it may be." Jackson advised as he gently squeezed my knee; feeling his hand on my leg sent a surge of heat through my body.

*~*

After Ben returned with diner and I ate my Moo shu pork, Kellie claimed she was ready to get to the hotel and unwind.

"Where will you be staying?" Benny asked me as he walked us to the door.

I glanced over at Jackson and met his eye. "The Doubletree Hotel off of South Broad Street, the King's Suit D." I looked back to Benny before he noticed anything. "It's a nice little suite with two bedrooms, a living area, and kitchenette; Kellie and I each have our own bedrooms with locking doors."

"Sounds nice."

"It better be." Kellie said.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow night at the show; maybe I'll actually remember this one." I said.

"Alright, drive safe." Benny hugged me yet again as I said good night. I tossed Kellie the keys and slid into the passenger side. I took one last look at Jackson, who was still watching me, before we pulled out of the drive.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Amy you have a visitor." Kellie said as she tapped on my "bedroom" door.

A visitor? Who would be visiting me now? Kells and I weren't expected to be at the Monkey's for a few hours, and Jackson was supposed to be at work still. Unless…

I closed the Optometry journal I was reading and jumped from my bed; I threw open the door to find him waiting. Jackson was leaning against the back of the couch and facing my direction. His hair was pulled back with a rubber band showing off his buzzed sides. He had one hand shoved in his pocket and the other was securing Annabelle to his side, which he had propped up against his leg. I stuck my head out the door and looked around the hotel suite.

"I'm alone." He said. I let my eyes fall back on him.

"I got off work early." He smirked. "I'm not supposed to meet with the guys for another few hours. And I was wondering…" He slowly began to make his way over, with Annabelle, "if you knew of a way, or a place where I could bid my time?" He was now standing directly in front of me.

I smiled and bit my lip. "I was so hopping you'd get the hint."

I threw an arm around his neck and pulled his face to mine where our lips met in a passionate kiss. Jackson wrapped one arm around me while keeping the other on Annabelle as we stumbled into the room. He closed the door behind him with a gentle kick. I ran my other hand over his chest as our kiss continued. He slowly bent over to prop Annabelle up in the corner. I was going to ask if he ever went anywhere without her, but that would have required me to break our kiss and that was the last thing I wanted to do. He placed his newly free hand on my back and pulled me closer to him. I slowly moved my hands down to his waist and began to remove his shirt. He moved his hands to my arms and gently pulled back.

"Wait," he said breathless. "Before this goes any further I think we should talk."

"Talk?" My heart stopped and my hands dropped to my side. "That's never a good sign." I turned to walk away but Jackson tackled me to the bed. He rolled me over on my back and lay on top of me.

"Now why does everyone always think 'talking' is a bad thing?"

"Because nine times out of ten it is."

"Well then, I hope that you consider this to be the one time where talking is something good."

I looked deep into his green eyes and sighed. "Alright, I'm listening."

He tucked my hair behind my ear and ran his thumb and forefinger along my jaw bone. "Amy, you may be comfortable with the casualness of our relationship but I'm not. Believe it or not, but having casual sex is not really my thing." I opened my mouth to protest but Jackson placed his finger over my lips.

"Please, let me finish." He said, and I closed my mouth. "I'm not saying I think we should stop, because that's the furthest thing from my mind right now. But I was rather thinking something more."

"Something more?" I interrupted. "More what Jackson?"

"Something more steady." He responded.

"What? Like you want me to be your…"

"Girlfriend." He finished my sentence for me. "Amy I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since you first arrived at the 24K." He gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. "Go steady with me?"

I burst out laughing; I couldn't help it. Jackson got up quickly and sat on his legs while I continued to laugh. I was laughing so hard my stomach started hurting and my eyes watered over. Jackson just stared at me a look of puzzlement and hurt mixed on his face.

"I…I…I'm so…." I couldn't form a coherent sentence as I tried to apologize.

"Wow, I didn't think rejection would hurt quite this much." Jackson said as he started to get up.

"What?" I exclaimed. "Rejection? No, no Jackson, you have it all wrong." I reached out for him. I caught him by the wrist and managed to pull him back down to the bed in a sitting position. I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. "I didn't mean to laugh. It's just that, well, you asked me to 'go steady' with you. No guy has ever asked me to 'go steady;' they've asked me out before but… You were definitely showing your southern heritage there bud, and it caught me off guard. But, I found it incredibly adorable."

"Adorable? So you laughing at me wasn't a rejection then?"

"No, not a rejection." I leaned down and kissed his lips tenderly; he was hesitant to respond. "Jackson, I rather like the idea of being your girlfriend."

"Yea?"

"Yea. There's just one thing though, I don't think I'm ready to tell Benny about us."

"We wouldn't have to tell anyone until you're ready." He ran his hands over my arms, and I kissed his lips softly.

"I truly am sorry for laughing."

He smiled a half smile and shrugged a shoulder. "I guess you'll just have to find a way to make it up to me."

"Mmmm, I like the sound of that."

I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck and bent down to kiss him, but I stopped short and kept my lips just out of reach. He leaned forward to capture my lips with his own. I grazed my lips across his briefly before pulling back and reinstating the distance. He placed a hand firmly behind my head as he reached for my lips again; there was no escaping him this time. His lips crashed onto mine and his tongue slipped through effortlessly.

My hands made their way down to his waist, and again I began to remove his shirt; he allowed me to this time. Our kiss broke as I pulled the shirt over his head, and instead of returning my lips to his I went for his ear. I breathed on it lightly before licking his earlobe. He grunted and I could feel him grow beneath me. His fingers moved the collar of my shirt aside so that he could get to my neck. He worked the area just above my collar bone, and I had to take a moment to collect my thoughts and focus. I was supposed to be the one making it up to him.

I pulled back and sat upright. Jackson's hands gripped my hips holding me on his lap. I placed both hands on his bare chest and pushed him back gently, until his back reached the bed. I readjusted myself, and he readjusted his hands to move from my waist to my upper thighs. I bent down and kissed his mouth briefly before leaving a trial of kisses over his chin, down his neck, and down his chest to his waist. I sucked on the spot next to his hip bone as my hands undid the button on his jeans and unzipped them. I could now feel his hardness against my chest. I helped him out of his jeans and moved back up to ensnare his lips in a deep kiss.

His hands roamed my body before finding the hem of my shirt. He made quick work of it as he pulled it over my head. He rolled me over and wrapped an arm around my waist. He lifted me up and dragged me further up the bed so that our feet were no longer hanging off the edge. He propped himself up with one hand as the other made its way to my hips to undo my pants. He pulled them off me and as his lips came back to mine I thrust my hips against his, showing him how much I wanted him. I ran my fingers across his back, digging my nails in slightly. He began to work the area below my ear, and again I had to fight to maintain control. It took every ounce of strength I had to roll him back over.

"I'm supposed to be the one making it up to you, remember?" I said breathlessly.

"My bad." He grinned.

I sat up straight again, straddling his lap, and reached behind me to unsnap my bra. I slid my arms out of it and tossed it over my shoulder. His hands immediately made their way to my breasts and he begged me to come back down. I slid out of my panties before doing so. I tugged at his boxers while his lips played with my nipples. Finally, with his help, I managed to slide his boxers off and I pressed myself against him

"Oh god Amy," he moaned while he clutched at my waist.

"I know." I breathed out. "Can you reach the top drawer of the nightstand behind you? The condoms are in there." I instructed.

Jackson reached over his head and stretched for the drawer. It was a struggle but at last he managed to pull the box out. I removed the condom from its package and quickly applied it to him. He slid in easily and we slipped into bliss.

***~***

Sometime later I collapsed beside him breathless and euphoric. I laid my head on his chest and kept one leg entwined with his; he had one arm wrapped around me, holding me close. We both lay in silence for quite awhile as we caught our breath.

"I think that's the best damn talk I've ever had." I said at last.

Jackson chuckled. "I'm glad I could please."

"A couple of times." Jackson smiled wider and went to kiss the top of my head but I tilted my head up and caught his lips with mine. "Mmmm," I moaned. Jackson placed his hand on my cheek as he deepened our kiss and gently rolled me onto my back. He lay on his side and propped himself up with his elbow. I could feel my desire for him building again. He slowly pulled back and smiled.

"I should be careful, or else I might not have the energy to perform tonight." He glanced at the clock. "Speaking of tonight, I should be leaving soon. I'm supposed to meet with the guys and have a quick rehearsal before the show."

"Must you leave so soon?" I sighed.

"Soon? I've been here for nearly two hours Amy."

"Really?"

"Yea."

"Wow, time really does fly when you're having fun."

He laughed softly. "That it does. Will I see you at the show tonight?"

"You better believe it."

"Mmm, good." He kissed me again before sliding off the bed and getting dressed. I watched and before long I was fighting the urge to pounce him. I'd never been turned on by watching a guy put clothes on before. I shook myself from my daze and slid of the bed to get dressed as well so that I could give him a proper farewell and walk him to the door.

Out in the living area, Amy was nestled on the couch watching _Twilight_, again. She didn't even glace our way as Jackson and I walked to the door hand in hand. I pressed his back to the door and kissed him roughly, nibbling on his lip as I departed.

"I'll see you later." I whispered.

"Not soon enough." He replied. He kissed my forehead before leaving.

"Well?" Kellie asked as I sat on the couch.

"Well what?" I asked.

"Will I be seeing him more frequently, or will it just be sporadic visits?"

I knew what she meant. She was asking if I had determined what we were, a couple or friends.

"Uh, as frequently as he can make it." I replied. I looked up at the T.V. before me and saw two people standing in a forest. "So what's going on here?"

"Bella just told Edward that she knows he's a vampire."

"And is there were he bites her? Oh wait, that doesn't happen because he's not a real vampire."

"Oh shut up. Popcorn?" she offered me the bowl in her lap.

"Sure." I took a handful and continued to watch the rest of the movie with her.

* * *

***I hope you guys are enjoying this so far. Feel free to swing by and let me know what you think. It may be a few days before I can update because I am moving and will be with out the internet for a few days, but first a little tease of what's to come....**

**Jackson and Amy are pretty happy right now, but that's about to change when Amy is suddenly forced to come face to face with her past. Why did she move in with the Johnson's in the first place? What will happen when Amy has a mental break down? Will Jackson stand by her side even when his own life could be at risk? **

**Hmm, guess you'll have wait and find out. Hope to have more for you soon. :)  
**


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

As the week progressed Jackson continued to swing by the hotel before heading home to the boys. Occasionally we would just talk with our words and not our bodies, but usually we saved that for when we were with the guys.

***~***

I lay on my back, the sheets pulled up to my waist keeping my breasts exposed. Jackson was propped up on his side tracing little circles over my chest and stomach. I enjoyed these quiet moments with Jackson more than with any other guy I had been with.

"What were you and Johnson talking about last night?" He asked out of nowhere.

I thought back to the moment he was referring to.

***~***

_Benny and I were standing in the hallway of the Monkey place; the rest of the guys, including Jackson and Kellie, were in the living room drinking. I had pulled Benny aside to show him the thing I had mentioned when I first arrived. Benny held a piece of paper in his hands and he was reading it carefully; it was from North Carolina._

_"Frankie is getting out on parole?" He asked._

_"Maybe, depending on how the hearing goes I guess. It's a courtesy letter, letting me know that I can attend if I want to but my presence is not required." I looked up at him. "I don't know what to do Benny. Kellie thinks I should go."_

_"Really? Well I don't think you should."_

_"It's her brother." Kellie interjected; I hadn't even seen her join us._

_"He's not a part of her life anymore. He lost that twelve years ago." Benny defended. _

_"Maybe, but she still suffers from their actions."_

_"Kellie, that's enough." I said sternly. Sometimes Kellie had a bad habit of butting in when she wasn't wanted. "Just forget it; I'll figure it out on my own."_

_"What's going on?" Jackson asked as he came down the hall._

_"Nothing." I ripped the letter from Benny's hands, folded it and stuffed it into my back pocket. "It's nothing." I looked at Jackson and saw a twinge of hurt in his eyes at my tone. I briskly walked past him and grabbed a beer from the fridge._

***~***

"Amy?" Jackson questioned, pulling me out of my flashback.

"It was nothing." I responded halfheartedly.

"Really? Interesting, because, you look as scared now as you did then."

"I was just showing Benny a letter I got from North Carolina." Why was I telling him this? I hated talking about my past.

"From your family?"

"It doesn't matter." I replied quickly.

"Doesn't matter? It's your family. Of course it matters."

I turned my head and looked away. I didn't want to fight with him, but I didn't want to talk about it either.

"I'd like to know about them, your parents I mean. Why did you leave North Carolina? It has obviously played a big part in your life. Will you share with me?" I knew he was only trying to help, but it didn't matter. I could feel the tears prick my eyes, but instead of giving in to him I did what I always do; I got angry.

"My family Jackson? You really want to know about my family?" I asked harshly as I looked him square in the eye.

"Yes."

"My parents are Paul and Suzanne Johnson, and my brother is Benjamin. That's all you need to know." I quickly rolled out of bed and began to put my clothes back on.

"Amy," Jackson said calmly.

"Speaking of whom," I interrupted; I couldn't handle his kindness right now. "Benny should be here shortly so you should probably get dressed." I tossed his clothes at him and left the room in a hurry.

Luckily Kellie didn't see me storm out of my room because she was still getting ready for our night out with the guys. They had another show tonight and the six of us were going to dinner first, so Jackson told the guys that he would just meet them at our hotel room to save time.

I went to the "kitchen" and grabbed a bottle of water, and I quickly gulped it down and leaned against the small counter. I had to get my emotions in tact before Benny arrived. Jackson came out of the room slowly but didn't say anything because Kellie had just left her room too. She could feel the tension in the air and knew immediately that something was up.

"What did I miss?" She asked, eyeing first Jackson and then me.

"Nothing." I said; apparently that was my new favorite word.

"Really? 'Cause it doesn't look like nothing."

"Just mind your own business Kells!" I snapped. I could seek Jackson's eyes widen.

"Whoa, looks like somebody took her bitch pill this morning." Kellie fired back.

There was a knock on the door and I pushed myself off the counter to answer it. Of course it was the guys. They walked in completely clueless and laughing. Their good mood seemed out of place in the hotel suite.

"Hey, Jay you made it." Ben G said.

"Yea." Jackson replied.

"How long have been here?" Benny asked.

"Not long."

"Can we go now?" I was still unhappy. The guys looked at me curiously. "I'm hungry." And I was, sort of.

"Sure. I'm hungry too." Jerad responded. And just like that I had dampened their good mood.

I was the first to walk out of the hotel room and Kellie brought up the rear. I turned to go right, but apparently the others decided to go left.

"Amy, where are you going?" Benny asked. I stopped and turned around.

"To the lobby." I answered like it was obvious.

"The elevator is this way."

"Yea, and the stairs are this way." I pointed over my shoulder.

"We're on the sixth floor."

"And?" I failed to see his point.

Kellie slowly walked up to me and took my hand. "Come on Me-Me," She said sweetly. "It will be ok." She added soft enough so that only I could hear, and squeezed my hand lightly; I hated elevators.

I nodded very slightly before walking with her to the elevator. I could already feel the anxiety rising. We stood waiting for the elevator to arrive for I don't know how long.

"The stairs would be faster." I said impatiently.

"Eh, no worries it's here." One of the guys said; I didn't catch who because a large lump had formed in the pit of my stomach very suddenly.

The elevator doors opened and an older couple stepped out. We filed through the doors. I quickly found the rail that went around the _very_ tiny box, and gripped it firmly. With my back to the wall, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath. I really hated elevators.

"We're going up." Some girl said. Oh great.

"No problem, we'll just ride it out." I'm pretty sure that was Graupner.

I swallowed a lump.

"Hey, you're the 100 Monkeys right?" That was a different girl.

"Yea." Jackson replied.

"Eeeep." Oh great, fan girls.

"I can't believe this." The first girl said.

"We were just on our back to our room to get ready for the show tonight." The second added. At least there appeared to only be two of them.

I tried to focus on my breathing while the guys talked with the girls. God this had to be the slowest elevator around. At last it came to a stop.

"Before we leave, can we have an autograph?" Just great. I rolled my eyes behind my closed lids.

"Sure. Have you got a pen?" Jerad responded.

"Uh, a pen? Uhm… no. Have you?

"Let's see a pen? Hmm…" I heard a lot of shuffling as everyone searched for a pen.

"Aims, do you have a pen?" Benny asked.

I slowly shook my head no.

"What's her problem?" one of the girls asked.

"Don't mind her." Kellie responded. "She's just a little crabby today." Way to have my back Kells.

"Why don't you ladies bring a pen to the show tonight and we'll make sure you get an autograph then." Jackson was always the gentleman.

"Great. Thanks."

I guess about another minute passed while they said their goodbyes. Finally I heard the door squeak as it closed, and I felt a jostle as I imagine all the guys jumped at the take off. Could they be any more juvenile? Ok, so maybe I was being a little bitchy, but I really, really, hated elevators.

I went back to focusing on my breathing while the elevator slowly made its decent, and I do mean slowly. It practically crept along inch by inch. It really must have been the slowest elevator ever made.

The elevator jerked to a sudden stop, and then it started again. And then once more it jerked to a stop. My eyes sprung open and I looked at the floor maker. The third floor? We were only on the third floor? Then why did it stop? I walked to the button panel and pushed the 'door open' button. Nothing happened. I pushed it harder but again nothing happened. I began to frantically push more buttons but still there seemed to be no response from the elevator.

Suddenly it felt like a great force was pressing against my lungs, restricting my breathing. My eyes clouded over and I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. It got real hot real fast. I was sweating in seconds. I was still pushing the buttons but eliciting no response.

"Kellie."


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**KPOV**

After Jackson promised to give the girls an autograph after the show, they said goodbye and stepped off the elevator. They seemed like nice girls and they sounded genuinely interested in the guy's music. I was happy for the guys. I'm sure it must be difficult not knowing who's really a fan of your music and who's only there for Jackson. I must admit though, it was Jackson's mesmerizing eyes and dazzling smile that first drew my attention to the 100 Monkeys; it was their music, however, that kept me around.

Speaking of Jackson's dazzling smile, I hadn't seen it since he arrived at the hotel suite this afternoon. And judging by Amy's bitchiness something had gone down between them. I prayed that whatever it was, they would work it out. God, if Amy screwed up this perfect thing that she had going with Jackson I swear, I would kick her ass myself. You just don't find guys like Jackson these days.

After the elevator jerked to a sudden stop I saw Amy approach the operating panel. It didn't take long for her to start panicking and banging on the buttons.

"Kellie." She called out in a quavering voice.

"Shit." I said. I quickly walked over to her and turned her around to face me. "Amy," I said as calmly as I could. Her pupils were already dilated and her hands were balled into fists. "Shit!" I said more firmly.

"What's wrong with her?" Ben Johnson asked. I waved him off.

"Amy," I called to her again as I went into doctor mode. "Amy look at me. Amy everything is going to be just fine. Amy." Her eyes focused on me a little more. "Amy, I need you to listen to me. Do exactly what I tell you to do. Can you do that?" She nodded, it was weak but it was a nod. "Close your eyes for me Amy." She squeezed her eyes closed. "Can you see the meadow Amy? It's a big, open meadow. Can you see it? Can you feel the soft grass beneath your feet?"

"Are there hills?" she asked very softly through clenched teeth.

"Yes, there are hills, gentle rolling hills as far as the eye can see. Can you see them Amy?" She nodded slightly again and her breathing began to even out a little. "Good Amy, very good. Now on top of one of these hills is a tree, a willow tree in her prime. It's a beautiful tree providing lots of shade. I want you sit under that tree." As I was speaking I carefully walked her back to the wall. "You're sitting under that tree now Amy." I slowly and gently pushed her shoulders down as her legs lowered her to the floor. "Good, now Amy I want you to just sit under this tree. Sit under this tree in this wide open meadow and read your chemistry journals and your science books. Can you do that for me?" She nodded again and her pulse steadied. "Good Amy. Good." I whispered as I slowly backed away from her.

"What's going on Kellie?" Ben asked more firmly.

I turned around to face the guys. "She's claustrophobic." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Claustrophobic?"

"She has a fear of small places." I said a little frustrated. "God I'm such a bitch! I shouldn't have made her get on the elevator. I should have taken the stairs with her. I should have fought for her." I was so angry with myself.

"It's ok Kellie, you didn't know." Jackson tried to calm me down.

"But that's just it I did know. I've known longer than she has." Just then there was a crack as the speaker turned on and a voice came through.

"Hello, is there anybody there?" the voice called out. I ran to the speaker to answer.

"Yea, there are six of us here."

"The system has registered some abnormality, what seems to be the problem?"

"I don't know. The elevator just stopped and it won't respond to any of the buttons." There was a slight pause and for a moment I thought we'd lost them.

"Alright, we've called it in. The rescue squad will be here momentarily. Just hang in there."

"Please, hurry," I pleaded. "My friend, she's claustrophobic. I don't know how long I can keep her calm." My voice shook as the tears pricked at my eyes. There was another crack as the speaker turned off.

"What do you mean you've known longer than she has?" Johnson asked. I turned back around to face them.

"I've always been interested in phobias. I studied them in high school and all their symptoms. I started noticing the little things she did right away. For instance, she always had to have an aisle seat in lectures. She never sits in the middle of anything. In the car she always has to have a window cracked, even when it's raining. When we moved in together she insisted on having the bigger room and she always sleeps with either the door or the window open. And elevators, this is probably only the fourth time I've ever seen her on an elevator. And it's all my fault."

"You couldn't have known that the elevator would break down Kellie." Jackson said.

"She never told me." Ben sounded hurt.

"She didn't know until last year." I explained. "She had just started working at Leo's and one of their 'traditions' is to lock the newbie in the storage closet. They had no idea. She had forgotten her apron that day so I took it up to her. When I found her she was already severely hyperventilating. They had to sedate her just to get her in the ambulance."

"I still wished she'd told me."

"Right, cause that conversation would have gone over splendidly. 'Hi, I'm Amy Cox. I'm Ben Johnson's baby cousin whom he hasn't spoken to in a year because he's too big of a prick to call after his father died. What should you know about me? Um, I drink, I have sex, oh and I'm claustrophobic.'"

The hurt in Ben Johnson's eyes nearly matched the hurt he showed when he first arrived in Berkeley back in April. God, I really was a bitch. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Ben, this is not your fault; I shouldn't take it out on you. You're not the one who made her get on the elevator; I am." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"It's not like I didn't deserve some of it." Ben Johnson said with a shrug of his shoulder. "I've missed a lot by not being there for her."

A few minutes of silence passed before Jerad asked, "What causes phobias in the first place?"

"They usually stem from some traumatic childhood experience. It's like the body just shuts down at any sign of recollection of the memory, inducing panic attacks."

"What do you think she's so afraid of?"

"I don't know. Amy hates talking about her childhood, but god, if I had the childhood she did I'd hate talking about it too."

"What happened?" Jackson asked, looking at Amy.

I looked pointedly at Ben Johnson. "It's not our place to tell."

"Is there anything we can do for her?" Graupner asked.

I shook my head. "We just have to make sure her breathing stays even and her pulse stays steady. Just hope that she stays in that meadow."

As if on cue, Amy's breathing became heavier and more rapid.

"Amy," I walked over to her. "Amy what happened to the meadow?" I hoped she didn't hear the panic in my voice.

"Fire…consuming…oxygen… can't breathe." She answered in broken sentences.

"Shit." I murmured and looked around. I looked up. "The hatch. I need one of you to open the hatch."

"We can't get out that way." Johnson said.

"No, but there is air in the shaft above it. It will open this space up a little." Ben Graupner moved to open the hatch in the ceiling. "And I need your jacket Jerad."

"Why?" Jerad asked as he slowly began to remove it.

"Unless one of you has a paper bag on you I need that damn jacket." I was starting to panic a little as well. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to Amy because I made her get on the elevator. She was my best friend; she had been there for me countless of times.

"Alright, alright. Here." He handed it over and I quickly formed it into a mask as best I could. I bent back down to Amy and placed the jacket over her mouth. I lifted her hands to hold the mask in place and noticed that her nails were digging into her palms so fiercely that they were drawing blood. I hoped that Jerad wasn't too attached to his jacket because blood stains were a bitch to get out of clothing.

"Breathe into this Amy." I instructed once the mask was in place. "It should help with the hyperventilating." I told the guys. Her breathing slowed slightly but it was still too much.

Jackson made his way over and knelt beside me. "Do you think I could try talking to her?" He asked. He was worried; it was evident in his voice and etched on his face.

I nodded. "Yea." I let my hands fall from her face and Jackson took over.

"Amy," He said. "Amy can you hear me?"

**JPOV**

"Amy," I said, brushing the hair out of her face. "Amy can you hear me?" Her eyes fluttered open and found mine.

"Jackson?" she asked faintly.

"I'm here darlin'." I brushed my hand across her cheek.

"Oh Jackson," she laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I…"

"Shh, it's ok. You don't have to explain anything." I wrapped my arms around her shaking body and pulled her onto my lap. I knew her cousin was watching me closely, but he didn't object which only helped to strengthen my suspicions that he already knew about us.

"Jackson I'm scared." Amy said into my neck. "Please, don't leave. Come to the meadow with me Jackson. Say you'll come with me. Don't leave. I'm sorry."

"I'm right here darlin'. I'm not leaving you. Take me to the meadow with you." I held her close as I cradled her in my arms.

Kellie bent down and placed two fingers on Amy's wrist. "Whatever you're doing Jackson, keep doing it because it's working."

I pulled Amy closer and hugged her tighter. She gave in and wrapped her arms around my neck as she continued to mumble incoherently. I rubbed my hand up and down her back soothingly while whispering 'I'm here.'

***~***

Sometime later the elevator began to jerk into motion again. Amy became restless and I tried harder to keep her calm. What a great time it would have been to have Jasper's powers. I would have done anything to take all her fears away.

The elevator began to descend steadily. Amy could feel the descent and her eyes popped open. She stared at the doors waiting for them to slide open. After the elevator stopped it took another few minutes for them to pry the doors open. I helped Amy to her feet, keeping a firm hold on her, but she bolted at the first opening that was big enough for her to squeeze through. I quickly moved after her.

Amy stumbled out of the elevator and pushed her way past the paramedics. She stumbled around the lobby before collapsing to her knees. I could hear her retching as her body convulsed, spilling a pool of vomit before her. Oh my poor sweet girl.

I walked out of the elevator and shook off the medic that tried to attend to me. I made my way over to where Amy was being loaded onto a stretcher. She had an oxygen mask covering her mouth and her eyes were glazed over. I placed my hand on her forearm, her muscles were still tight, and brushed my hand over the top of her head. Her beautiful eyes met with mine and a slight smile spread over her lips. I kissed her forehead.

"I'll see you at the hospital." I whispered before the medics rolled her away. Johnson came to stand beside me, and he patted my shoulder lightly. He definitely already knew.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**APOV**

_The green grass was soft beneath my feet. The sun was shining bright and hot, but the shade provided by the willow tree was gentle and cool. An optometry journal was lying in my lap, but I wasn't reading it. My arms were wrapped around the pair of arms that were wrapped around me, holding me close. I leaned back and rested my head against the firm, but somehow soft, chest. I glanced up and looked into the most beautiful pair of green eyes that I had ever seen._

_"Jackson," his name slipped from my lips._

_"I'm here darlin'. I'm not leaving you." He responded as he caressed my arm lovingly._

_"Mmmm," I snuggled into his neck inhaling his scent. He pressed his lips against my forehead tenderly. "I love you." I whispered before slipping into an unconscious sleep. _

A low rhythmic beeping drew me from my slumber. My eyelids felt like they weighed a ton so I tried to determine my location using my other available senses. There was no soft grass beneath my feet and there was definitely not a pair of strong arms embracing me. Though it seemed bright around me, I could not feel the warmth of the sun. I didn't hear a gentle breeze blowing, but I did hear a low murmuring and that annoying beep. I breathed in deeply, and my nostrils were invaded by a very overpowering and unpleasant overly sanitized smell.

I tried opening my eyes again, and this time I succeeded; at least I think I did. I was met with an onslaught of white, or maybe it was a pale beige; either way it did little in determining my location. I slowly scanned my surroundings to the left and found the source of the beep. A heart monitor, so that meant I must be in a hospital. But why was I here? The last thing I remembered was sitting in a peaceful meadow with him, my angel. At least, he must have been an angel because guys as amazing as that just don't exist in the real world.

"She's awake." A voice announced gently.

I looked further down my left side and found Kellie, my best friend; of course she'd be sitting at my bedside. She smiled faintly. I looked around at the rest of the people leaning over me. They were all curious and yet they were trying to keep their distance. When I looked around to my right I found the most gorgeous green eyes I'd ever laid eyes on. Only, I had laid eyes on them before. They were my angel's eyes. Maybe he did exist after all.

"Jackson," his name came out barely above a whisper for my throat was dry and scratchy.

"Hey darlin'." He rubbed my hand gently and handed me a glass of water. I sipped from the straw carefully. "How do you feel?"

"Like I was run over by a bus. It feels like my body has been coated in lead, everything is so heavy." I replied as I laid my head back down on the pillow.

"That's just the muscle relaxant they gave you." Kellie said. I looked back at her.

"Kells, what happened?" I asked. "Why am I here?"

She bit her lower lip and her brow furrowed. "Honey, you had a panic attack. You were hyperventilating and you were balling your fists so tight that your nails dug into your hands and drew blood. The doctor had to give you a muscle relaxant so that you would… well relax your muscles. Don't you remember, on the elevator?"

Suddenly it all came rushing back to me: walking onto the elevator, the closed, tight quarters, the annoying fan girls who wouldn't shut up and leave, the elevator jerking to a sudden stop on the third floor, the pressure on my lungs as the panic took over, the burning meadow, and Frankie. Frankie was there with his crooked, sadistic smile and his sinister laugh, terrorizing me. But Jackson was there too. Jackson, my angel, was there pulling me from the fire, pulling me from Frankie. Jackson was there and he rescued me. As I looked back into his eyes, I knew instantly that he would always be there to rescue me, if only I'd let him.

"Amy?" Kellie sounded worried; I'd been quiet too long.

"Yea, yea I remember now." I squeezed my eyes closed. "I wish I could forget it again though."

"That frightening huh?" Jackson asked.

"You've no idea." I looked into his eyes yet again; I couldn't get enough of them today. "Oh my god the concert! You better hurry or you're gonna be late."

"Relax darlin', it's all taken care of. Marty called in and canceled it."

"What? No, no you can't cancel it. No please don't. If you leave now you might can make it still."

"Me-Me, relax. It would be nearly over by now anyways." Kellie said.

"Ugh," I groaned. "They're going to kill me."

"Who is?" Jackson asked.

"Your fans. All those disappointed fans, those girls on the elevator. They're going to hunt me down and kill me now. I just know it."

Jackson chuckled. "I won't let anyone hurt you. They'll have to get through me and Johnson first."

"Or we could just sick Kellie on them." Jerad laughed. I looked at her oddly.

"I kinda showed my bitchy side in the elevator." She explained.

"Oh, that is a terrifying site." I added.

After a few more minutes of talking, being visited by the nurse and the doctor, and slowly regaining feeling to my arms and legs, I asked the guys to leave to give Kellie and me some time alone. Jackson and Benny were the most reluctant to leave, but I finally convinced them to go the café to get me some dinner.

"I'm so, so, so, so, sorry." Kellie immediately began after the door closed behind Jackson. "I should have never made you get on that elevator. I can't say I'm sorry enough times."

"Kells, calm down. I should be the one apologizing to you. I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did in the hotel suite."

"It's ok. Jackson explained everything to me, once I was able to pry him away from you. Geez, that boy never left your side Amy. You had him really worried; he cares about you, a lot! He's really a great guy Me-Me."

"Yea, I know. I really care about him too. And I want to tell him about what happened, about my family, but…what if he decides he doesn't want me anymore once he knows or worse, what if he feels sorry for me. If he started to look at me like everyone in Bartelso did, I wouldn't be able to take it. I don't want to lose him like that."

"Honestly Me-Me, I don't think that is going to happen. You didn't see the way he was looking at you all day, the way he cradled you in his arms, or the way he never left your side. Amy I've never been more jealous of you than I was today, and not just because it's Jackson Rathbone, but because you have a guy who truly cares about you. He deserves to know what happened."

I nodded. "I know."

"But first, I think you need to talk to your cousin because, hell, if he didn't know about you and Jackson before then he surely knows now; or if not then he's even more dense than I made him out to be."

"Was Jackson that obvious about our relationship?"

"Honey, you were both that obvious. I mean really, clinging to his neck begging him not to leave, begging him to come to the meadow with you. It was all rather pathetic, in a very sweet and adorable, make-me-jealous kind of way."

"Ah Kells, what am I going to do with you?"

"Love me."

"Always."

The guys returned shortly after and Jackson had a tray full of food for me. With Kellie's help, I pulled myself up into a sitting position. I ate in an uncomfortable silence. None of the guys knew how to act; Jackson was trying to be careful around Benny, Benny was trying to be careful around me, and Jerad and Ben, well they just looked odd and out of place. I eyed Kellie and knew that she was thinking the same thing I was.

"Good god Kellie, what did you tell them was wrong with me?"

"Just that you were a raving lunatic who would tear their head off while they slept if they got too close to you." Kellie responded.

"Well gee, thanks." I rolled my eyes. "Really guys, I'm the same Amy you met a few months ago, the same Amy that will throw back a few beers with ya. So man up already, because the last thing I need is a bunch of pansies hanging around. It really does nothing for the image."

"I am not a pansy." Graupner defended.

"Well I sure as hell haven't seen anything to prove otherwise."

"Come by my room later tonight and I'll show you just how man I am." He smirked.

"That's my cousin you ass." Benny playfully punched Graupner in the arm and Jerad and Jackson laughed as they proceeded to roll about the floor in a wrestling match. Good, at least maybe now things could get back to normal between us.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

There was a knock on my door. "Me-Me, Benny is here." Kellie said softly.

_Shit! Already? _

After leaving the hospital yesterday Kellie and I had insisted on just going back to the hotel alone, but I had talked to both Benny and Jackson, separately of course, and asked them to stop by today, one in the morning and the other after he got off work. I didn't sleep very well last night because I was up dreading today and trying to figure out what I was going to say to each of them. I still had no clue.

I opened the door and stepped out slowly. "Hi."

"You asked me to stop by?" Benny responded.

"Yea, why don't we sit on the couch?"

"Sure," he nodded.

"Me-Me, do you want me to stay or…?" Kellie asked.

I shook my head. "No Kells, I think I should do this alone."

"Ok, well in that case I'll be down at the pool. If you need me, call."

"Thanks Kells. Would you like anything to drink?" I asked Benny once Kellie had left.

"It's a little early for a drink isn't it? It's not even noon yet."

"They do make things like sodas and tea and water. Not every 'drink' is alcoholic."

Benny smiled; good. "A Coke please."

"Coke is only good with rum and we don't have any of that, so how's a Pepsi?"

"That's fine Aims. They're all the same to me."

"Yea I know, but Pepsi was on sale at the mart." I sat down on the couch next to Benny and handed him his Pepsi. He popped the can and took a sip.

"So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" he asked.

"And so we get to this moment already; you never were one for small talk and stalling."

"Amy?"

I sighed. "When we got back last night Kellie told me everything that had happened."

"I see. I wish you would have told me Amy; it sucked finding out like that, and if I had known I never would have pushed you to get on that elevator."

"Benny, yesterday's mishaps were all my doing. I chose to get on the elevator and I chose not to tell you that I was claustrophobic."

"Thank god Kellie was there and knew what the hell was going on and how to handle it. I'd hate to think of what could have happened otherwise."

"I'm sorry. I should have told you, but you know how I am about talking about my past. I abhor it."

"Does what happened yesterday have anything to do with Frankie?"

"It has everything to do with Frankie." Benny nodded in understanding; he knew what my brother used to do to me. "But, I didn't ask you to come here to talk about my past. I actually wanted to talk about something else."

Oh boy, we were here now and I still didn't know how to tell him. Do I come right out and say it? _"I'm sleeping with your best friend Jackson!"_ No, definitely not, too blunt.

Should I go about it more subtly? _"So remember yesterday and how I freaked out on the elevator and Kellie told me to go to the meadow and then Jackson came over and started talking to me and I asked him to come to the meadow with me? Well he did and he's the one that really saved me because, well we've been dating and I think I love him."_ No, that wouldn't work either; it was too long winded.

Or should I just be more direct and say, _"Benny, I'm dating Jackson."_

Well that was simple enough, and it sounded easy enough, but was I really ready for this? I mean admitting to your family that you're having a relationship with someone is big. And having sex with a few guys is one thing, but being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is quite another. Was I really ready to tell my cousin, no my brother that I was in a committed relationship with one of his trusted friends?

**BPOV**

When Amy asked me to come by the hotel suite today, I had a suspicion of what it was about. But when she started off talking about what happened on the elevator yesterday and about that bastard Frankie, I thought _"Well, maybe I'm wrong."_ It wouldn't have been the first time.

Then she told me that she didn't want to talk about that, but something else. Finally. She went quiet and started chewing on her lip. I knew her well enough to know that she was probably arguing with herself, probably trying to find the best way to tell me. I thought about keeping quiet, I was good at that, and waiting to see how long it would take her to tell me, but I'd figured she'd already suffered enough.

"Amy," I said softly. She looked up at me with wide, worried eyes, and for a moment I was reminded of that frightened eight year old I gave up my bed to twelve years ago.

"If it's about you and Jackson, I already know." I finished.

Her mouth popped open and she blinked several times. "What?" She sounded shocked.

Shit! Was I wrong about her and Jay? Could I be wrong about their relationship? No, not about this. They were too obvious.

"How… how do you know about Jackson and me?" She asked.

"Really Aims?" Did she really think that she had fooled me? " 'Isn't that weird? We were just talking about him and up he pops.' Did you really expect me to believe that Jackson just happened to show up at your doorstep after I'd just finished asking about him? And I watched you, you never went in to clean up your bathroom and it was perfectly fine when I went in there later that day."

She looked astounded. "You've known since graduation?"

I nodded. "You're a terrible liar Aims, always have been."

She went quiet for a bit before asking, "And you're not mad?"

"Oh I was pissed, at Jackson. The thought of him or any guy for that matter, putting his hands all over you makes my blood boil. But I didn't say anything because I didn't want to screw us up again. If I could have everything my way I wouldn't have you be with any guy, but I realize that's a little unfair and so, if you must be with someone, I would prefer it be with someone I trust and I would trust Jackson with my life. And plus, it's apparent from yesterday that he really cares about you, probably more than he's ever cared about a girl before."

Her eyes looked misty.

"Other than his own sisters of course." I added quickly; I didn't want to scare her away.

"Of course." She said softly as she blinked back her tears. God, had I hurt her?

"I really care about him too." She said finally. "I don't know what it is, but I…I felt calmer when I was in his arms yesterday. I mean the whole experience is still just a rush of blurred emotions, mostly panic, but there's a distinct moment when things just felt calmer."

Could my baby cousin be in love? "Well, maybe that wasn't Jackson, maybe that was just the drugs they gave you." I teased.

"Always the romanticist aren't you?"

"Eh, romance is for pansies."

She huffed and shoved my arm playfully. "Would you like another Pepsi?"

"Nah, I'm fine, but I do have to piss. Where's the bathroom in this suite?"

"There are two actually, but you can use mine. It's just through there and to the right." She pointed to the door she had come out of earlier.

"Thanks." I said. I stood up and quickly went to where she had pointed.

**APOV**

Benny stayed at the hotel all day, which was great. Kellie came back to the room about an hour after she left; she said she got worried when she didn't hear from me. Apparently I was supposed to text her when it was safe. The three of us just sat around and played card games while watching television. It was really a very enjoyable day and time seemed to slip away from us. Before I knew it, it was early evening and there was a knock on the door. Kellie answered it since she was already in the kitchen.

"Jackson!" I jumped up from my spot on the floor, ran to him, and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Hey," he said cautiously as he hugged me back.

"Jackson," Benny greeted as he approached us.

"Ben," Jackson nodded and unfolded himself from me keeping one arm around my waist. He looked down at me and I smiled. "Does this mean you've told him?"

"Told me what? Amy is there something I should know?" Benny joked.

"Benny," I rolled my eyes at him. "Yes Jackson, I've told him about us. Well actually I didn't really have to tell him because he already knew."

"Ah, thought so." Jackson said. "That explains the sudden standoffishness."

"Yea well, you know how it is with little sisters." Benny shrugged.

"Yea I hear ya." Jackson looked back at me, still wrapped in his arm. "So if he knows, then that means…"

The flash in his eye was the only warning I had as his hands cupped my face and brought my lips to his in a searing kiss. His tongue licked my bottom lip seductively and I opened up to him. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck bringing us closer. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue danced over mine. I could feel how much he wanted me and I knew that he'd been holding that kiss in for a long time. After all, we hadn't really kissed since before our little fight yesterday.

"Eh-hem." Benny cleared his throat. "I'm still in the room."

"As am I." Kellie said.

Jackson pulled back reluctantly; I knew, that like me, he too had forgotten about them. I nibbled on my lower lip.

"Wow," I breathed; Jackson chuckled.

"I'll let this thing you guys have go on, just because I think I'll lose a lot more if I try to stop it." Benny said. "But know this Jackson," Jackson and I both looked at Benny then, and Benny suddenly looked more fierce than I had ever seen him look before. "If you hurt her, I will kill you. Or at least seriously beat the shit out of you and make it so that pretty little face of yours will never sell another magazine again. You hear me?"

"Loud and clear." Jackson replied.

"Right, good, then I'll see you back at the house tonight, right?"

"Only if I let him leave." I responded and Jackson tried to hold back a grin. I think he liked the thought of me holding him hostage.

"Right, well goodbye."

"Bye Benny." I hugged him once more before he left.

I looked back at Jackson and locked eyes with him. We stood there for a moment, just gazing into each other's eyes.

"Right… I'll just be in my room then." Kellie said as she left, giving us this moment together.


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

As I looked into Jackson's eyes, I knew what I felt for him, and I knew what he felt for me. He slowly intertwined his fingers with mine and stroked my cheek lightly. I leaned into this touch and brushed my lips against his palm. In response, he placed his lips against my forehead.

"Aren't you glad that you came clean with your cousin and that we don't have to hide anymore?" He asked, his lips brushing against my skin, sending chills down my spine.

I nodded my head, increasing the chills. "Yes. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

"I knew it would."

"Know it all."

He pulled back slightly, and we locked eyes again.

"Jackson," here we go again, "as much as I'd like to pick up where that kiss left off, I think we should talk."

"Talk? I thought you thought that was a bad thing."

"And it very well may be, but I think it's time you know the truth about my biological family."

He sighed. "You can tell me anything that you want to, and nothing that you don't. It won't change how I feel about you."

"God I hope that's true. Come on." I began to lead him to the couch. I was initially planning on taking him to the bed room to talk because it would give us more privacy, but I was afraid that if I went in there with him I would become too distracted with other wants, and I would lose my courage.

"Where's Annabelle?" I asked as I sat down on the couch and noticed that he didn't have to remove her.

"I forgot her at the house." He sounded so, disappointed? "It's been a really off day for me. What with everything that happened yesterday, and worrying about you all night, I just haven't been myself today."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just being here with you now is making everything better."

"Well, I hope Annabelle will forgive me. I'd hate for her to hold a grudge against you because of me."

"I'm sure I can make her understand. We have too much history together to let one accident come between us."

"Hmm, good because you make an excellent team."

Jackson smiled. "Right, well I believe you were going to tell me…"

"About my family." I finished his sentence. "I don't know where to start."

"The beginning is always good."

"Of course, the beginning, why didn't I think of that? Hmm, let's see…" I paused as I tried to think of a good place to start my story.

"It's ok Amy. You can take as long as you need to, and remember that anything you don't want to talk about, you don't have to."

He was so sweet and sincere. He took both of my hands in his and kissed them lightly, giving me the strength I needed. I could do this. As long as I had him, I could do anything.

I took a deep breath and began.

"I moved in with the Johnson's when I was eight because they were the closest relatives I had. Aunt Suzie was, or rather is my mother's baby sister and both of their parents were dead and my father's parents, well I don't know anything about them. Very little is known about my dad, all of his records were falsified.

"Aunt Suzie was no doubt the pride and joy of her family and my mother was the little black sheep. You know, Aunt Suzie graduated high school, went to college, fell in love with my Uncle Paul, got married, and started a family the good old fashion way. My mother, on the other hand, got tangled in drugs, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy she's probably tried it all. And she dropped out of high school when she was a junior, ran away from their Maryland home and made her way to a little town in North Carolina known as Hampstead, where the police station downtown is nestled between the courthouse and the ABC store. She met up with my father somewhere along the way and either out of convenience or love, though I doubt it, they got married, had my brother and ten years later had me. I was a mistake to them; they never planned on having me, and they made it quite clear. Often times they were all so high that they forgot to make dinner and I was left to fend for myself, mind you I was only seven when that life ended. So a two year old finding dinner for herself is like tipping over the trashcan and eating old pizza covered in potato chips.

"My father was very abusive to my mother, both physically and mentally, but I guess she was used to guys treating her like that because she never left him. He would smack her around all the time and when he was really bad he would force himself on her. I could hear her screams and her protests from their room; they kept me up at night. And then when I was about five and half I guess, he started coming to me when he grew sick of her."

"Amy," Jackson could barely speak, his jaw was clenched closed.

"If I stop now I'll never be able to finish and I want, no I _need_ you to know."

He nodded for me to continue, his muscles tensing as he held my hands a little tighter. I took another deep breath and steadied my voice; I wasn't even to the worst of it yet.

"My brother, Frankie, was a chip off the old block. He started doing drugs when he was young; they were easy for him to find because they were just lying around the house all the time. He dropped out of school the moment he was old enough to do so, and like my father, Frankie would slap both my mother and myself around. They were somehow always careful though because they never left any visible marks, so no one at school ever knew what was going on at home.

"Jackson, please don't feel any pity towards my mother because she deserved everything that she got. She would beg for my father or for Frankie to take their frustrations out on me, to spare her and beat me instead. She never once showed concern for me or tried to protect me like a mother should. I think maybe I reminded her too much of her sister; I always looked more like my Aunt Suzie than I did my mom."

I paused to catch my breath and Jackson reached up to gently wipe away my tears.

"That's not all is it?" he asked. I shook my head no. "Then whenever you're ready to continue Amy, I'll be ready to listen." He pulled my head down to his chest to let it lay there while he stroked my hair. I let myself go for a minute or two, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks soaking his shirt. When I pulled back, he dried my eyes.

"I was Frankie's favorite thing to torture. Every chance he got he would terrorize me. He would destroy all my toys, not that I ever really had any, kick me around, pull at my hair…anything to make my life more of a living hell than it already was.

"I mentioned earlier that the three of them were nearly always high and that there were plenty of drugs just lying around the house, well their favorite was methamphetamine. They made it themselves from over the counter medications. They ran a meth lab in our garage and they consumed about half the product and sold the other half. Whenever they had a buyer come over they would always lock me in a closet. Frankie would bang on the surrounding walls, making them vibrate and making things fall off the shelves above me. I would beg and plead for him to stop, but the louder I screamed the harder he laughed. I tried to tell myself that it was just Frankie, that the walls weren't moving on their own accord, but to a young and vulnerable mind…being locked in a tiny closet with the walls moving and things falling from above you, it felt like the walls were closing in on me."

"Hence the reason for your claustrophobia."

"Yea. I know it's silly now that it was just a childhood fear. And I try to tell myself that it's nothing, that it's just an elevator and the walls weren't, couldn't just spontaneously close in on you, that it would go against the laws of physics, that I'm smarter than that and I should know better. But, it's like something inside me just snaps and I lose all sense of reality. And I can't help it."

"It's not silly Amy. Everyone has things they're afraid of."

"Yea, but everyone freaks out like I do."

"You've never seen me around a spider." I couldn't help the small smile that flickered across my face. "Ah, there's the smile I adore so much." My smile grew a little wider.

"So tell me, does convincing yourself that you're alone in a large meadow really work in calming you down?" He asked.

"To an extent." I replied. "But yesterday I wasn't alone."

"Oh, and just who was with you, might I ask?"

"You were there. You sort of cradled me in your arms and told me that you would never leave me, and I believed you."

His hand quickly cupped my cheek. "And I'm still right here Amy. I'm not leaving until you tell me to, and I really hope that you never do."

I leaned into his hand. "Thank you, for being here and more so for staying."

"So, how did you end up escaping from hell?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"The meth lab. It exploded one day. They had a buyer come over and somebody knocked something over, or mixed something too soon, chemistry is very temperamental. The whole fire department came out and the cops. Frankie tried to run but they caught him. A firefighter found me locked in a closet. And after being poked, prodded, and tested for drugs I was handed over to child services and sent to live in the orphanage until they could track down my relatives. Aunt Suzie came alone because Benny was still in school and Uncle Paul had to work.

"I spent my eighth birthday in the courthouse testifying against my mother and Frankie. They set up a live video feed from the Judge's chambers so that I wouldn't have to sit in front of my family. It was just me, the Judge, the DA, the court appointed defense attorneys, the stenographer, and my Aunt Suzie because at the time she was the only one I would talk to. The attorneys took turns asking me questions and I answered them. My responses were fed back to the courtroom so that the jury members could hear, my face was blacked out though. Like they didn't all know who I was anyways.

"Aunt Suzie took me back to Bartelso as soon as she was told I could leave. We didn't even wait for the end of the trial. I was sent a letter telling me of their sentences. My mother got a total of fifty years with no chance of parole; she had multiple drug charges and child endangerment charges against her. Frankie was charged with possession and received fifteen years with a chance for parole after twelve. That letter, I was showing Benny, it was about Frankie's parole. His hearing is next week; I've been told I could attend if I wanted to."

"Are you?"

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it since I showed it to Benny, I mean, I kinda got distracted."

"Come here," Jackson stretched out his arms, inviting me in. I turned around and pressed my back against his chest; he wrapped his arms around me and held me.

"Kellie was right," he said.

"About what?"

"If I had to live that childhood, I wouldn't want to talk about it either."

"I've only ever told Benny and Kellie the whole story. Not even Aunt Suzie knows about everything that happened, if it wasn't relevant to the question they asked, I didn't offer it up."

"Thank you then, for trusting me with your secret and for letting me into such a big part of your life."

"It was easier than I thought it would be, telling you about my past. But then again, everything just seems easier with you."

"I know the feeling."

My stomach growled then.

"Someone's hungry." Jackson said. "What would you like to do?"

"I ordered pizza!" Kellie shouted from her room before stepping out. "It should be here in about ten minutes." Of course she had been listening in; I knew she would.

"Thanks Kells. Now go back to your room and leave me alone with my man."

"Well, fine then. I see how it is." Kellie stalked back into her room with a knowing smile.

I rolled over and straddled Jackson's lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he cocked an eyebrow at me.

"We have ten minutes." I said. "You know we did have a little fight yesterday, and make up sex is some of the best sex around."

"We're going to need more than ten minutes." He smirked. "You deserve a good few hours' worth." He ran his hands up my thighs at an agonizingly slow pace. "I think we should take our time, that way I can take my time attending to each one of your needs." His lips teased my collar bone as his hand moved to my inner thigh. "I'm gonna give it to you like you've never had before." He exaggerated his southern twang for me, and I bit on my lower lip.

"You keep talking like that Jackson, and I'll never let you see your friends again."

"Well, if it keeps me with you, it's well worth the trade." His lips slowly worked their way up the side of my neck and down my jaw line to my mouth. I tangled my fingers in his hair and moaned into his mouth as our kiss deepened.

"I can hear you!" Kellie shouted. "Or rather I can't hear you so that means you're up to something. Please, for the love of god, start talking again. I can't take, nor do I want these mental images."

"Arg." I growled.

"Don't worry darlin' we'll finish this soon enough. And I'm nothing if not a man of my word." Jackson said seductively, just before there was a knock on the door.


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I was dragging my rolling suitcase with one hand while the other was holding my cell phone to my ear.

"Yea Jackson we just walked in the room…. No we're staying in Wilmington, just south of Hampstead…. Yea, Benny thought it would be better to stay away from there as much as possible…. Alright, well Benny's hungry so, … yea I know he is…. Tell Bennie G thanks again for letting us use his car…. I miss you too babe…. Bye."

I closed my cell phone and sat on the bed. It had been a week since I freaked out on the elevator and after thinking about it long and hard, I had decided to attend Frankie's parole hearing and Benny had tagged along, which I was very thankful for.

Benny had adjusted to mine and Jackson's relationship rather nicely. There weren't any nasty glances when Jackson would put his arm around me, and there was only a very subtle coughing whenever our kiss would linger too long and I wasn't entirely positive that the coughing came solely from Benny. Really, this past week has been great. Why didn't I just tell Benny sooner? Though, the whole sneaking around thing was pretty exciting.

"Are you done? Good god you two know how to talk." Benny exclaimed.

"Sorry, it's our first real time away from each other since we've been together."

"What are you talking about? It's been almost a month since your graduation party."

"Yea but, we weren't officially together until he came to my hotel room that first day we were in Philly."

"So what the hell was graduation?"

"A hook up."

"A hook up?"

"A much needed hook up. A long awaited hook up. A hook up that was two months in the making, but god when it finally happened it was like…"

"Amy!"

"Sorry," I could feel my cheeks turn ten shades of red. "You don't want to hear the intimate details of our…er intimacy. So, what about dinner?" I jumped up from the bed. "There was a Ruby Tuesday just down the block; we could walk there with no problem."

"Ruby Tuesday sounds fine."

***~***

A half hour later I was walking to our table at Ruby Tuesday after visiting the ladies' room.

"Hey," Benny leaned in as I sat down. "I got us some free drinks, so whatever the waitress says just go with it, play along."

"What did you tell her?" I asked.

"Nothing really, but I may have let her assume a few things. You like the Bud Lime right?"

"Yea…"

"Here you go…" the little red head waitress said as she set two beers on the table before us and two more in a bucket of ice on the back.

"Thank you." Benny said.

"Are you ready to order or do you need a minute to look at the menu?" She looked at me.

"Just a few minutes for me please." I responded.

"Certainly."

"We would like to have some of your cheddar fries though." Benny added.

"Absolutely. I'll place the order in now and they should be up in a few minutes. Oh, and Happy Anniversary Mrs. Johnson. They say the first year is the hardest to get through."

I choked down the drink that I had just taken. "Th…thank you." I said eyeing Benny. After she walked away and was out of ear shot I really turned on him. "You told her I was your wife?!"

"I let her assume. I did tell her that it was our one year anniversary though, and that the Bud Lime was the first drink I ever bought you."

"Benjamin Johnson!"

"What? I wanted a beer but I didn't want to pay for it."

"I've got to set her straight."

"Do you want to pay for these beers then?"

"Ah…ohh… This is wrong on so many levels."

"Relax Amy. Where's the wild college girl Kellie keeps talking about?"

"I don't know what all Kellie has told you, but most of my shenanigans have all revolved around her in some way."

"I think it's all just talk."

Was that a challenge? Was he challenging me? I never backed down from a challenge, and that sounded like a challenge to me.

I pointed my finger at him. "Jackson never finds out about this, no body finds out about this."

He grinned wickedly.

"Give me your hand."

"What for?" he asked.

"Hello, I'm your wife and we're celebrating our anniversary, you've got to at least pretend to be in love with me. Now hold my hand over the table."

Benny placed his hand on the table palm up and I placed me hand in his before searching the menu for something to eat.

***~***

Back at the hotel we spent a relaxing hour in the hot tub before heading back to the room to rent a movie and then go to bed. I tossed and turned all night as painful memories flashed through my mind. I hadn't been this close to my past since the original trial. My body ached for Jackson, longing to be held in his arms.

Frankie's hearing was scheduled to start at ten the next morning, so Benny and I, after showering and getting dressed, decided to check out before leaving. After all, Hampstead was on the way back to Philly and there would be no need to stick around once the hearing was over.

The hearing was located in a small private chamber in the east wing of the courthouse. Only those with "invites" were allowed in, so Benny had to sit on a bench outside the room while I went in alone; I'd come too far to turn back now. I sat in the last row on the left side, close to the doors in case I had to leave early.

Before turning off my cell phone, like requested by the bailiff, I sent a quick text message to Jackson: _I really miss you and I wish you were here. I'll call you later._

"All rise for the Honorable Judge Jameson."

A little old woman walked in from one of the side doors. She couldn't have been more than five feet tall. Her dark auburn hair was kept short on top her head. Her robes trailed the ground behind her as she walked.

"Be seated." She said as she finally took her seat. "This is the parole hearing for Richard Franklin Cox. Bring in the defendant."

The other side door opened up and two officers escorted Frankie in. He was clad in a head to toe blue jump suit. On his left breast were the numbers 0667. His ankles and his wrists were chained together with a long chain connecting the two down the center. He held a bible in his hand and wore a crucifix around d his neck. His long shaggy hair hung down to his shoulders. His beard and mustache were untidy and speckled with gray. I guess he didn't see the need to clean up for his hearing.

Before taking his seat at the table up front, his black eyes scanned the room. They lingered on me and the corner of his mouth turned up into an all too familiar smile. I desperately tried to steady my breathing as my blood began to rise and my palms began to sweat. I had to remain calm.

The hearing began with a nervous junior prosecutor recapping the trial of twelve years ago. That boy must have been a beginner because he was fumbling with words and fiddling with papers. Did the D.A.'s office even care about this hearing? After he had thoroughly reviewed the case and told everyone what they already knew, the Judge gave Frankie's attorney a chance to speak.

She stood up and started talking about how Frankie was a changed man. She said that he had been drug free for eleven years. Of course he was drug free, he had been in prison for the past twelve years! She said that he had found religion and God and that now he wasn't even tempted for a cigarette or an alcoholic beverage. I didn't buy any of it, that smile he gave me was too much like the old Frankie I knew.

After Frankie's attorney spoke, the Judge gave Frankie a chance to speak for himself. He sounded different, actually referring to the Judge as "your Honor." After Frankie spoke, the prison warden and a few of the guards spoke. They all said about the same thing, testifying to how Frankie had changed, The warden even went as far as to say that he believed that Frankie had learned his lesson and done his time.

After sitting in the courtroom for about half an hour and listening to testimony after testimony in Frankie's favor, the Judge ruled and retreated to her chambers. I rushed out of the courtroom and passed Benny. I could feel the tears start to prick my eyes; I pushed them back. I refused to let Frankie get to me.

"Amy, what happened?" Benny asked as he finally caught me arm and spun me around.

"They've released him on parole." I answered, still fighting the tears.

"What?"

"All they talked about in there is how he's changed. They say he's found God and that he's a different man than when he went in there."

"That does happen sometimes Aims."

"Yea but this is Frankie we're talking about! I just… I don't…" I didn't know what to think. A part of me wanted to believe that it was true, that he really had changed, but that smile he gave me was too contradicting.

"Let's just go." I said.

"Yea, yea sure."

Before leaving the courthouse we passed by the bathrooms. "I have to go before we leave. I'll just take a minute." I said.

"Ha! Girls never take just a minute, but go on; I should probably go too."

I walked into the bathroom and headed straight for the sinks. I turned the cold water on and splashed my face a couple of times. The coolness felt refreshing and relaxing against my skin; I sighed. I thought I saw something move in the corner of my eye, but when I looked around I saw no one.

"Hello," I called out. "Is there anyone else in here?"

Silence.

"Gah, get it together Amy." I said aloud. My mind was starting to play tricks on me. The sooner I got out of this wretched town, the better. I turned back around and splashed my face one more time. After taking a towel and drying off, I closed my eyes for just a moment. That's when it happened.

Simultaneously a hand clasped over my mouth and a sharp edge pressed against my throat.

"Shhh…" the chilling voice warned.


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

My eyes popped open to see my attacker, but they didn't need to; I already knew who it was. Frankie. I struggled against him as he began to drag me backwards into one of the stalls, but he was too strong for me and my feeble attempts did very little to deter him.

With his hand still over my mouth and after returning the sharp edge to my throat, he pushed my back against the wall.

"Make the tinniest peep and I'll cut your throat so fast you won't know what hit ya. Understand?"

I nodded my head carefully; the blade was already digging into my skin.

"That's a good girl." He slowly removed his hand from my mouth.

I wanted to scream out, to call for help. I wanted to fight back and defend myself, but terror had seized my heart and rendered me helpless and paralyzed.

"It's nice to see you Amelia." His lips curled up into that crooked smile showing his yellow teeth. "And was that our dear cousin you brought with you?"

"How do you know…" Frankie's hand covered my mouth before I could finish my question and he pressed the blade further into my neck. I could feel the skin give way at the increased pressure.

"You know better than to speak out of turn." He said harshly. "Or perhaps you're like our mother; she never learned to shut up either.

"Anyhow, I believe I was talking about our cousin, I think his name is Benjamin, correct? Let's see, he was born in 1983, which makes him three years older than you." My eyes widened; how did he know all of this?

"Surely you didn't think that Child Services where the only ones who could track down long lost relatives. Oh, being locked up has done me some good Amelia, but not like they thought in there. No, I've made some friends, some connections if you will, in high places."

"What do you want with me then?"

"I just wanted to make sure that our little secret was still safe." He ran his hand over my scar before lifting my shirt to look at it. "Beautiful ain't it?"

"I haven't told anyone." And it was true. I may have told Benny, Kellie, and Jackson most of the things that happened, but there was still one thing that I hadn't told anyone.

"Really?" He traced the scar with the tip of the blade, and I bit back tears at the sting.

"I swear Frankie, no one knows about…" Tears leaked out as he dug the blade into my scar. I could feel the sticky blood run down my side. "I haven't told anyone about dad."

"Hmm, good, I see that my little reminder has worked then." He ran his finger over the fresh blood before lowering my shirt.

"Don't forget about it now Amelia. I would hate for anything to happen to Aunt Suzanne."

"You stay away from her!" I spat out without thinking.

"Ah, I see I've found the sensitive subject. The Johnson family. I bet they became like family to you didn't they. But remember where you come from Amelia. You're not a Johnson, you're a Cox and you always will be. You'll never be anything better, no matter how hard you try to cover it up. You'll always be a Cox."

The tears were running unhindered down my face. He was preying on my greatest fear; that I would never be anything better than just a Cox.

"Well, I think my job here is done for now. Just don't forget out little secret." He tapped the blade against my side before pushing me down towards the toilet. My head smacked against the porcelain bowl, and everything went black.

***~***

When I came to I was still lying on the bathroom floor. My head was throbbing, my side was burning, and my throat was stinging. I tried sitting up but I went about it too quickly and before I knew it I was spewing my continental breakfast all over the floor and myself. I didn't know how long I'd been out and I didn't know when Benny would decide to come looking for me. I had to pull myself together and get out of there.

I made my way to the sinks again and cleaned up as best I could. Thankfully the cut on my throat was very minor and once I had washed the blood away you couldn't even tell it was there, unless of course you already knew. The mark on my head was a different matter; it was bruised and a lump was already beginning to form. I would need a cover story for that… easy enough. I'd just tell Benny that I got sick but I slipped and hit my head on the toilet and puked on myself instead.

Now what about my scar? The stupid bastard had opened part of it back up, and it was still bleeding steadily. I wiped away what blood I could but it continued to bleed. So I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and wrapped it around my stomach, pulling it tight enough to be a bandage but not so tight that it would tear. Luckily I was wearing a dark shirt that hung loosely around my waist so you couldn't see the blood or the bandage. Finally satisfied I hurried from the bathroom and nearly ran right into Benny.

"There you are. I was just about to come… Shit Amy, what happened?" Benny exclaimed, taking in my blood shot eyes, tear stained face, and lumpy head.

"It's nothing. I got sick and fell. I hit my head on the toilet bowl and threw up on the floor. But I'm fine now so can we just leave?"

"Yea, no problem. We can pull out the suitcase so you can find a change of clothes and then we can leave."

"No! Let's leave now! I can change later, but for now I just have to get out of here. I can't take another second in this godforsaken town."

"Ok, ok, whatever you say."

Out at the car I insisted on driving first, saying that I needed the distraction. It was about an eight and a half hour drive back to Philly and stopping for food and gas, if we made it fast, we could probably make it in a bout ten, maybe less. The sooner I could get to Jackson's arms and feel safe, the better.

I drove for nearly two hours straight before pulling into a gas station. While Benny pumped I pulled fresh clothes from the trunk and went inside. Inside the convenience store I bought some real bandages so that I could properly care for my reopened scar. The bleeding had stopped but not before it managed to seep through the toilet paper.

In the bathroom, which was only one stall and had no place to hide, and believe me I checked, I changed clothes, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. I threw the old clothes in the trashcan; they would only remind me of today anyways. Before getting back on the road, I bought some drinks and snacks and some air-freshener for the car. Benny took the wheel when we left.

We stopped again around five o'clock for dinner. I tried to convince Benny to get it to go but he insisted on having a moment to stretch his legs. We left once Benny said he was ready, and I took the wheel again. We stopped only when necessary.

Finally about a quarter to nine Benny pulled up in front of the Monkey Place. Kellie's car was there, which meant that the hotel suite was empty. Jackson was the first one to come out and greet up, and at the mere sight of him I suddenly felt calmer. I wanted to study him, to commit the way he looked that night to my memory and replace the memory of the courthouse that kept playing through my mind, but he rushed towards me with such speed that he was almost a blur. He threw his arms around me and hugged me so tight that I actually winced at the pain.

"My god Amy you had me so worried. I thought something might have happened to you." He said with a mix of relief and worry.

"What?" I was confused. Why was he so worried?

"You didn't call. You said you'd call, but you never did. I tried calling you but I never got an answer. We tried calling Ben and the same thing happened."

"Oh…"

"Yea sorry, my phone died." Benny said.

I pulled my phone out; it was still turned off. "Sorry, I turned my phone off for the hearing and I guess I forgot to turn it back on."

"You forgot?" Jackson said incredulously. He sounded a little hurt and suddenly I wanted to cry,

"I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. It's just that this trip has taken a lot out of me, and I ...."

"Shh, calm down Amy. It's ok, I'm not mad. I'm just glad that you're alright."

I nodded and wiped the tears from my face as we proceeded inside. Under the living room light the lump on my head became more visible.

"Shit Amy! What happened?" Kellie asked as she rushed forth to examine my head.

"It's nothing." I pulled back. "I fell is all."

"She got sick in the bathroom before we left the courthouse." Benny explained.

"I swear Me-Me, sometimes you can be so klutzy." Kellie said with a slight laugh.

"Yea." I agreed, before curling into Jackson's arms and tucking my head into his neck.

"So how did the hearing go?" Jerad asked. Before leaving a few days ago, I had told Jerad and Ben G the short version of my childhood. Basically I had just told them that my parents and brother were addicted to meth and that they ran a meth lab until it exploded one day. And after I testified against them I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle in Illinois.

"He was released." Benny answered.

"What?!" Kellie exclaimed, and Jackson tightened his grip on me.

"They said he changed."

I pulled my head out of Jackson's neck. "It's bullshit. It's all just a bunch of bullshit. People like Frankie don't just change. I wish he would just rot behind bars like my mother."

"Amy, you don't know…" Benny tried.

"No Benny you don't know! You didn't have to live with him! The things he's done… It's bullshit I say!" I covered my face with my hands to steady myself. "I'm sorry guys, but I really don't feel much like being social at the moment. I think I should just leave."

"Ok, I'll drive you back." Kellie offered.

"No Kells, please, I'd rather you didn't come back just yet." I leaned back into Jackson's arms and whispered to him. "Please, I do need you."

He rubbed his over my back soothingly. "Just give me a minute to pack a bag." I nodded and he kissed my forehead before leaving for his room. It was almost exactly one minute later when he returned ready to leave. I looked apologetically at Kellie before we left and she nodded in response. She knew I wasn't mad at her but that I just needed some time alone.

The drive to the hotel was a silent one, but one in which Jackson held my hand and rubbed soothing circles on the back of it all the way there. Once we got to the hotel we went straight to my room, kicked off our shoes and lay on the bed. I lay on my left side, so that I wasn't lying on my scar, and Jackson wrapped me up in his arms. I buried my head in the crook of his neck again and he rubbed my back. We didn't say anything for quite awhile, but we didn't need to.

I was the first to speak. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming here with me."

"Well I wasn't about to let you go alone. You still haven't turned on your cell phone." He smiled at me.

I smiled back weakly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"It seems like we're always doing this huh?"

"Doing what exactly? Lying wrapped in each other's arms, gazing into each other's eyes, without a care or worry in the world."

"I was thinking more along the lines of me freaking out and making a fool of myself and then you cleaning up the mess afterwards."

He chuckled. "Amy, darlin' you worry too much."

"Any other guy would have left by now."

"Perhaps. And maybe if you were any other girl I would have left by now. But the truth is Amy, you do something to me. I don't know what it is exactly, but I feel less whole when we're apart."

"Oh Jackson," I gripped his shirt as my eyes misted over; I knew exactly what he meant.

My lips found his and our tongues began to glide and swirl over one another. He rolled me over on my back, and he hiked up my right leg. His hand rubbed against my thigh hungrily. I ground my hips up into his and he let out a small moan. His left hand cupped my face briefly before it began to explore the contours of my body.

I cried out in pain as his hand gripped my side.

"Oh my god Amy, what did I do?" He asked frantically.

I shook my head. "Nothing." I lied; I couldn't fight the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.

"Like hell it's nothing." He lifted my shirt and saw the bandage. "Amy what is this?"

I shook my head again and avoided his gaze; I knew I would be no match for it.

"Amy please tell me what's wrong."

"No Jackson, I don't want to lie to you. Please don't ask again."

His hands gripped my face and he forced me to look deep into his eyes. "Amy."

"It was Frankie." I blurted out. In between sobs I told him of how Frankie had attacked me in the bathroom after the hearing. I watched as his eyes narrowed in rage.

"We're calling the cops." He said through his teeth.

"What? No, no you can't Jackson. Please no."

"Amy? He assaulted you in a public bathroom. You have to tell the courts what kind of man…man ha, what kind of monster he really is."

"Jackson I can't. He threatened to hurt Benny or Aunt Suzie if I told anyone. Oh god, I shouldn't even have told you. What have I done?" My hands balled into fists in my hair.

"Amy, the cops can protect them."

"Like they protected me?" I jumped from the bed and paced around the room. "There were signs everywhere about what was going on at home. I left them! I drew pictures; I wrote notes! No one believed me. No one did anything to stop them until it was too late. Even now Frankie managed to get a knife into a courthouse packed full of police officers. He managed to get into the girl's bathroom to come after me, and to get out without anyone noticing. How do you expect them to protect two adults full time when they couldn't even protect a little girl?"

"Amy I know you're frightened but…

"Frightened? Jackson this isn't the boogieman we're talking about. This is Frankie, and I'm scared shitless. But I can't tell anybody. And maybe I don't have to; after all I have nothing he wants. He's in Hampstead and soon I'll be back in Berkeley. He's has to report in with his parole officer every day, and he has to wear a brace around his ankle that monitors everywhere he goes.

"Besides, it would do no good to tell anyone, especially Benny. I know he means well but he would try to go after him and let's face it, Benny would be no match for Frankie. And if anything happened to Benny or Aunt Suzie because of me… I don't think I could live with that. So please Jackson," I took his hands in mine and looked pleadingly into his eyes, "promise me you won't tell anyone."

Jackson shook his head slowly. "This is wrong Amy, but… I won't tell. I don't agree with it, but if that's what you want I'll do it for you. But I swear to you Amy, I won't let anything harm you, ever. And if he ever tries to lay a finger on your again, screw Benny I'll go after him myself."

"Jackson I…"

"Shh darlin', come here." He pulled me down on the bed, back into his arms, and kissed my head tenderly. "I think you should get some rest now; you've had a very trying day to say the least."

"Will you still stay with?" I asked as he lay us down.

"And just where would I go? Amy, there's no place I'd rather be than with you."

He held me close all night, avoiding my side, and we both fell asleep in our clothes.

You know I must love writting to post on my anniversary! Yup, been married for one year now. Happy One Year to me!


	18. Chapter 17

Ok, so I thought that all my loyal readers deserved a little something special, so here is a whole chapter with no Frankie drama but only Amy/Jackson goodness.

Warning: The following chapter contains my attempt at a little lemon. Let me know what you think please.

* * *

**Chapter 17**

The rest of my time in Philly went fairly smoothly. For the first few days after returning from Hampstead I was pretty jumpy, but Jackson was there for me as much as his acting gig would allow. We spent every night together, either at his place or mine. My scar scared back over and eventually the lump on my head vanished. Before I knew it my month's vacation was over and I was back in a hot sweaty diner while Kellie went to the beach.

***~***

"Ok, I've got a large order of chili cheese fries, a large philly-steak all the way, and a large bacon burger with just ketchup." I called out to Chris as I placed the order card on the counter for him.

"Amy, what are you still doing here?" He asked.

"I've got plenty of time Chris. I don't have to leave until two."

"Amy it's, two forty five now." He pointed to the clock.

"Shit! I'm late!" It had been over a week since I'd seen Jackson, and he was flying in today for the weekend and I was supposed to pick him up at the airport at three. The monkeys had gone to Texas to record for awhile before coming home to California.

"Leave now."

"I can't, we're still really busy. I'll just call him and tell him to get a cab."

"Amy you haven't shut up about seeing the guy since you got here, and we're not really that busy right now. Samantha can handle it."

"Well I did learn from the best." Samantha said.

"Go Amy."

I smiled, relieved. "Thanks guys."

***~***

I had really planned on swinging by the apartment to shower and change out of these sweaty rags I was wearing, but there was no time for that now so Jackson would just have to deal. When I arrived at the airport I was relieved to find that his flight was a little behind schedule so it had just arrived. I went to the terminal to wait for him.

As I stood waiting for him, my mind raced with all the things he said he was going to do to me and my heat began to pulse in anticipation. I was glad Kellie left early this morning for her parent's house, and she wouldn't be back until late Sunday night. That meant that Jackson and I would have the apartment to ourselves. Oh the possibilities: the kitchen counter, the living room sofa and chair, the washer and dryer, I hear the vibrations really enhance the pleasure, not that Jackson needs any help in that department.

_"Oh my god there he is."_ I thought as he stepped through the gates with his rolling bag and Annabelle on his back. _"Oh,"_ I groaned internally. He was wearing the boots and the village hat; boy I loved that hat on him. I bit my lip in excitement so hard that it hurt. I would have run to him but my legs were already turning to jelly and it was hard enough to stand, and I didn't know just how public he was ready for us to be. So, I stood my ground and waited for him to come to me, but good lord he was taking forever.

At last he was within reaching distance.

"Hey…mmm…" he cut me off as his lips crashed onto mine and his tongue begged for entrance. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck pulling him closer. He gripped my hips and thrust them into his bulging member. He must have been thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him.

"Down boy, or you'll have a _hard_ time walking out of here with that third leg."

"Hmm, you'll have a hard time walking anywhere when I'm through with you."

I giggled.

"Just get off work?" He asked as we began walking to my car.

"Yea, sorry. I wanted to go by the house and shower first but a huge crowd came in at the last minute and I lost track of time."

"Don't be sorry babe. I find it sexy."

"Sexy?"

"Yea, you're like my naughty little waitress that will do anything for a good _tip_." He flashed me that smirk of his and my knees buckled.

This was going to be one hell of a weekend.

***~***

The drive back to the apartment was difficult. Jackson's hand had started out on my knee but it slowly migrated up my leg to rest between my thighs; one finger was hooked under my shorts. I wondered if he realized what he was doing. Then, as I fumbled with the key outside the apartment, he pressed his rock hardness against my backside, making me groan, while placing kisses along my neck. Oh yes, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Needless to say, we didn't last long once we were inside. He pushed my back against the wall and plunged his tongue into my mouth. He stripped Annabelle from his back and placed her gently in the corner. I tossed his sexy hat aside and ravaged his hair with my hands while his groped my body. He wanted me and I needed him.

His hands found the snap on my shorts and unleashed it. He slid his hand down slowly, torturously, under my panties. He toyed with my entrance briefly before sliding two fingers in. With his miracle fingers at work, it didn't take long before I was gasping out his name in ecstasy.

My head collapsed on his shoulder and he pulled his hand out slowly.

"You owe me for that." He said, his lips moving against my ear sending another shockwave through my body.

"Anything you say."

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He locked the front door back and led me by the hand to my bathroom. I kicked off my socks and shoes while he turned the water on. I was about to pull my shorts off when his hand stopped me.

"Allow me." He moved in closer and with one swift tug my shorts fell to my ankles and I stepped out of them. He brushed his hands up my inner thighs, his eyes never leaving mine. I quivered under his gentle touch.

His hands continued up my torso pulling my shirt along with them. He tossed it aside. He wrapped his hands around my back and unsnapped my bra. It fell to the floor. He hooked his fingers in my panties, and like my shorts they fell with one tug. I kicked them aside. He pulled the rubber band from my hair and combed it out with his fingers. It fell about my shoulders. His eyes took one quick scan of my naked body before returning to my own.

"You're beautiful." He said.

I looked him over. "And you're still fully clothed."

He laughed and I quickly helped to relieve him of his clothes. He followed me into the shower and I pulled him under the spray with me. The water created a slick surface for our bodies to slide against. He wrapped his arms around me and crossed them behind my back. He kissed my forehead.

"A week and a half is too long to go without you in my arms." He said.

"Hmm, I know. But you're here now and we have all weekend alone. We don't have to go anywhere."

"So you've already been to the store? Did you get everything I requested?"

"Yes, but you should know, Kellie is usually the one who cooks the steaks."

"You let me worry about that darlin'. I have a plan."

"Should I be frightened?"

"Only a little." He grinned.

He reached over and picked up my shampoo bottle. He squeezed some into his hand before massaging it through my hair sensually. I couldn't help the small moan that escaped my lips. He laughed.

"Sometimes you are too easy to turn on."

"What? We've already stated that it was a long week and a half." I whined. He rinsed the soap from hair just as sensually. "And maybe you should just look at it as a testament to how good you are."

"I already know how good I am. I'm the best you've ever had."

"Well there was this one time in Tijuana."

"What?" He pulled back suddenly and I laughed. "Well maybe I just need to remind you."

"Hmm, it has been a long week and a half."

He growled and nothing but lust flashed through his eyes before he plunged his lips back to my mouth, searching out every crevice he could find that he hadn't already explored. I ran my hands down his back digging my nails in and bringing him closer. The lust and desire were building within me again; it wouldn't be long before I would need him inside me, and his fingers wouldn't get the job done this time.

I moaned into his mouth before he pulled back to breath. Our separation didn't last long as he quickly found my ear and began to suck and nibble on it. I ground my hips against his member and buried my hands in his hair, gripping it firmly. His hands cupped my ass and squeezed it firmly, releasing yet another moan, before moving down to my thighs. He picked me up and slid in with little resistance. He pressed my back against the shower wall as he began to thrust in and out. My scar stung slightly, but the pleasure was so much greater.

I clamped his shoulders and creamed out his name as my orgasm rushed through me; he followed behind, unleashing within me. After holding me there for a moment, he gently pulled out and set me on my feet. He kept his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me up, and I snuggled into his neck.

"Bring back any memories?" he asked.

I shook my head. "We've never done it in the shower before." He chuckled.

***~***

It was Sunday evening. The weekend was almost over. Kellie would be home in a few hours and Jackson would be leaving tomorrow. The weekend was almost over.

The weekend had been amazing. Jackson and I hadn't taken our hands off each other and we hadn't stepped a foot outside. Except for last night when we went down to the complex grills and Jackson grilled us a couple of steaks for dinner. He also grilled some corn on the cob and made a tossed salad. Who knew he was such a cook? We ate by candle light in the apartment while soft Jazz played over the stereo. It was easily the most romantic night of my life.

I hated that this weekend had to end so soon.

***~***

We lay curled in each other's arms after another round of passionate love making.

"Hmm, I don't want this night to end." I said into his chest.

"I know me neither. But it's not over yet and I have just one more thing for you." He sat me up and I leaned against the head board while he grabbed Annabelle.

"Are you going to play for me Jackson?" I asked; He smiled and looked down. Was he suddenly shy?

"In case you haven't noticed Amy, I've been trying to say something all weekend but I just can't seem to get the words right. And so, I figured sometimes I can express myself better through music, so I thought I'd give it a shot tonight while I still can. I have to admit though, it's not one of my songs but it is from one of the greats."

He smiled again and played a cord before starting.

_I_ _wanna make you smile whenever you're sad_

I laughed inwardly at the first line; it was Adam Sandler from The Wedding Singer.

_Carry you around when your arthritis is bad  
All I wanna do is grow old with you_

_I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches  
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks  
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you_

_  
_His eyes never left mine.

_  
I'll miss you  
I'll kiss you  
Give you my coat when you are cold_

_I'll need you  
I'll feed you  
Even let ya hold the remote control_

We laughed.

_So let me do the dishes in our __kitchen sink__  
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink  
I could be the man who grows old with you_

_  
I wanna grow old with you_

I had tears flowing down my face as the song finished. Jackson set Annabelle aside and took my hands in his. He kissed the tops of them lightly.

"Amy," he looked deep into my eyes. "I've finally figured out what this feeling that I've been feeling is. Amy, I love you. I know it hasn't been very long since we've gotten together, it's only been a little over a month, but I love you."

"Jackson, I…"

"You don't have to say anything. I'll understand if you're not ready for that yet. You can take all the time you need to. Just know that when you're ready, I'll be here waiting. I'll never leave you Amy."

"Jackson, I… I love you too." I choked out. "I love you Jackson. I love you so much."

I had never seen him look as happy as he did at that moment. He pulled me into his lap and cupped my face in his hands.

"Say it again."

"I love you Jackson."

"And I love you Amy." He pulled my lips to his for the sweetest kiss.


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I woke up the next morning the way I wish I could wake up every morning, curled up next to Jackson's beautiful naked body. When my eyes opened I found him already awake and watching me. He smiled and pushed the hair out of my face; I did the same to him.

"Good morning." He said.

I shook my head and frowned.

"No? Not good morning? Why not?"

"Because it could never be a good morning when you have to leave. I wish the night would come back and give us a few more hours."

He laughed; I loved to hear his laugh. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over our heads.

"It's still night under here." He pulled me closer and I giggled. "I love it when you giggle like that. But then again, I love everything about you. I love you."

"I love you too."

He kissed me sweetly. "What if I found a way to make it a good morning, could I say good morning then?"

"Maybe, but what would you do to make it good?"

He rolled me over on my back and lay on top of me. "I have an idea." He said smugly before kissing me passionately.

***~***

After Jackson made it a good morning, we got dressed and went into the living room. Kellie was already up and reading her paper and watching C.N.N.

"Morning you two." She said without looking up. "I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to come out."

"Not if we didn't have to." Jackson answered.

I smiled. "Morning to you too Kells. I'll be right back babe." I kissed him on the cheek and went to the kitchen to take my medicine. I could still hear their conversation.

"So have a nice weekend?" Kellie asked.

"We did. And you?" Jackson answered.

"It was nice, but I'm glad to be back here."

"Thank you for giving us the space. I really appreciate it."

"It was no problem Jackson. You guys deserved a little time alone. It was the least I could do. So, when does your plane leave?"

"Too soon." I could hear him sigh. He didn't want to leave anymore than I wanted to see him go. "I have to be at the airport at one. What are you reading?"

"The New York Times the Science Section."

"The New York Times and C.N.N. really Kellie?"

"Just because it's summer time Jackson doesn't mean I have to let my brain rot."

"Kellie can be very sophisticated when she wants to be." I said as I joined them and sat next to Jackson on the couch.

"Hmm, I see. So what do you want to do with our time today?" Jackson asked me as he slid his arm around my waist.

"I can think of something." I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Really you guys? You just had all weekend together. Haven't you had enough?" Kellie asked.

"Kells you can never get enough of the guy you love."

"Love?" She seemed stunned. "Well it's about damn time you realized it; I was beginning to think you two would never figure it out. Oh, and did you even check the mail this weekend?"

"Nope."

"Well that explains the pile of it. You've got some by the way, on the table there. I think you have something from North Carolina again, but I'm not sure."

"North Carolina? I don't want to have anything to with that anymore. It's probably nothing anyways. You can trash it for all I care."

"If that is what you wish. Hey, you want this?" She held up the science section. "They've got something in here on optometry."

"Sure, thanks."

"You read that too?" Jackson asked.

"Only on occasion and only the science section. Sometimes it has some pretty interesting stuff, but I usually just stick with my journals."

"Wow."

"What?"

"Nothing." He tried to hide his smile.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No."

"Yes you are. Stop laughing at me." I demanded.

"I can't." he laughed.

"Stop or I'll make you."

"How?"

"Like this." I swung my leg over to straddle his lap. I curled my fingers in his hair and kissed him roughly.

"Mmm," he moaned as his hands found my waist and pulled me closer.

"Really guys, still here." Kellie said exasperated.

I pulled back. "Sorry Kells. I forgot. I'll try to behave now."

"Gee thanks."

I reluctantly moved off Jackson's lap and opened the paper and began to read. We were all silent for a while, catching up on our current events. Kellie gave up the cross word puzzle to let Jackson give it a shot, and she focused on watching C.N.N. It was probably about a half hour later when I set the paper down and watched with her.

***~***

"…Thank you for that lovely sentiment. Now for _News Around the Nation_ here's Daniel Webb."

"Thank you Cindy. In Seattle a pregnant woman claims she was helped by an angel. Felicia Scott, wife of Major Scott currently stationed in Iraq, was on her way to the hospital for a checkup when her car broke down. When her water suddenly broke Felicia says a hitchhiker that seemingly came out of nowhere assisted her in labor and then disappeared just as suddenly when the ambulance arrived. Major Scott and Felicia are now the proud parents of a baby girl. Felicia has decided to name the baby Angel in honor of her helper.

"In North Carolina," my ears perked up as did everyone else's, "the body of District Court Judge Joanna Jameson was found dead in her home last night along with the body of Public Defense Attorney Celia Howard. Authorities are still determining the exact cause, but early reports claim a double homicide. No suspects have been named so far.

"In Kansas…"

***~***

"Amy?" I was vaguely aware of Jackson calling my name.

_Murdered? They were both murdered? How? Why? What where the odds that both the Judge and Frankie's attorney were murdered almost a month after the trial?_ I began to scramble around the table for my mail.

"Amy, what are you doing?"

"They're dead, they're both dead."

"Who's dead?"

"Judge Jameson, she was the judge who presided over Frankie's hearing and the attorney, she was Frankie's defense attorney. Now they're both dead. Here it is!" I pulled the letter from North Carolina from the pile and tore it open. I read it carefully but quickly.

"Oh god…no…not good. Oh my god." I panted.

"What is it Amy?" Jackson grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him

"It's Frankie… he hasn't reported in with his parole officer in over a week and…and his tracker isn't working. They have no idea where he is."

"Oh god Amy…" Kellie walked over to me. I kept my eyes locked with Jackson's.

"He wouldn't have any reason to come here. He has no reason to come after me now. I have nothing he wants." I was trying to convince myself more than anything else.

"Amy, I don't think he needs a reason." Jackson replied.

"What are you talking about? Why would he come after you? What haven't you told me Amy?" Kellie asked.

"Amy, are you going to tell her or am I?"

"No Jackson, you promised."

"Amy, she deserves to know. She's your best friend. You can trust her."

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"I can't Jackson."

"Then let me do it darlin'."

I nodded and looked down. As Jackson filled Kellie in on all that had happened in Hampstead my eyes rested on the rest of the mail on the table. Another letter caught my eye. There was nothing particularly special about it; it was in a plain white, letter sized envelope. It was addressed to me, but the address was typed not written. I picked it up and opened it. Inside was a letter with only three words.

I've found her.

"Oh god Amy, I'm so sor…Amy you're shaking." Kellie said.

"What's wrong? What's that Amy?" Jackson took the paper from my hand and read it aloud. "What does this mean?"

"Aunt Suzie. He's gone after Aunt Suzie."


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"Your Aunt Suzie? How do you know that Amy? You don't even know it's from him." Jackson asked.

"I … I don't know, but I just know it's from Frankie and that he's gone after her. We have to get to her."

"Amy, let's be rational about this." Kellie said. "Call her first; see if she's alright. If the letter is from Frankie he could just be playing games with you."

"Great thinking Kellie. Here," Jackson handed me my phone. I quickly dialed her number. It rang, and rang, and…

"Aunt Suzie…" Oh thank god it was her. I breathed a sigh of relief and nodded to Jackson and Kellie. "What?... Oh no, no things are fine here. It's just that, Frankie's out of jail now. … Yea no, they released him on parole and, and well now he's gone missing…. What? No, no I don't think there's any… Aunt Suzie?…Aunt Suzie are there? Aunt Suzie!"

"Amy?"

"The line went dead." I checked my phone; the battery was still good. I hung up and dialed again. Busy.

"What happened Amy?" Kellie asked calmly.

I shook my head. "I don't know. One second everything was fine, the next there was nothing. What if he's there Jackson? What if he's gone after her and now he's cut the line?"

"Ok, darlin' here's what we do." He wrapped his arms around me. "We call it in. Call the cops. Tell them everything! Let them take care of it."

"Jackson I…"

"It's ok Amy, I'll be right here the entire time. You can do it." He wiped the tears from my eyes and handed me my phone again.

***~***

About an hour and a half later the cop finally left. The local station had sent over an officer to take my report in person. They stayed asking several questions about Frankie, and about my past. I told them as much as I could. It was difficult, but as promised Jackson stayed by my side holding my hand the entire time.

"Can you relax now Amy?" Jackson asked.

"I have to go to her."

"Amy…"

"No Jackson. I did what you wanted me to do; now I have to go to her. We've tried calling her several times both on the home line and her cell phone. She hasn't answered either. And she hasn't emailed or anything. If she were alright, she would have let me know by now. She'd know that I would worry."

"But Amy, you've done all you can. You've told the cops. They said they would contact the officer's in Bartelso and they'd check in on her." Kellie said.

I shook my head. "That's not good enough for me. I have to see for myself. They couldn't protect me and they couldn't keep Frankie locked away. Why should I believe that they can protect her now? I have to go."

"I'm coming with you." Jackson said.

"Jackson you can't be serious." Kellie protested.

"There's no arguing with her Kells, and there's no way I'm letting her go alone."

"Fine. Then I'm coming too." She grabbed her keys and wallet and walked to the door. Jackson slid his fingers through mine, and we followed after her together.

**JPOV**

At the airport Kellie ordered the tickets and Amy tried her Aunt again. She was scared, really scared. I hoped beyond anything that this would turn out to be just a big misunderstanding. While waiting, I thought it best to call the guys and tell them that I wouldn't be coming back today after all. But why exactly I called him, I'm not really sure.

"Ben, hey man. So uh look, there's been a change of plans. I won't be coming back today….Well because I'm on my way to Illinois now with Amy and Kellie…. Actually we're at the airport now….They've lost Frankie Ben. He's skipped out on his parole and his tracker is working. Then this morning we heard on the news that they found the body of the judge who presided over the hearing and that of Frankie's defense attorney….Amy thinks he may be involved with their death somehow and she's pretty freaked out….Why are we going?..." Should I tell him why? "Amy thinks your mom might be in trouble. She was talking to her when the line suddenly went dead. That was several hours ago now. Have you been able to talk to her recently?...You haven't?...I see…Yea, that's all Amy gets too….I'm sure it's nothing to worry about really…. Look man, I'm going to bring her back. I won't let anything happen to your cousin or your mom…Or Kellie…. I'll call you as soon as we know something.…See ya man."

I hung up just as Kellie and Amy came back. I quickly wrapped my arms around Amy.

"Any luck?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Come on, I've got the tickets. Our flight leaves in fifteen minutes. This way." Kellie said walking off.

***~***

I kept an arm around Amy and kept her close the whole way. On the flight she kept her head buried in my chest. When we arrived in Illinois Kellie rented us a car with a GPS system and drove us to Amy's house. When we arrived the sun had already set and the sky was growing dark. There was one car in the driveway, but no lights were on in the house.

"Are you ready for this Amy?" I asked, looking into her eyes.

"I have no choice Jackson. I have to make sure she's alright."

I held her face in my hands. "I love you."

"I love you." She kissed me tenderly and I didn't want to let her go.

"Come on you guys. We're doing no good just sitting out here." Kellie said and Amy pulled back slowly.

I held her hand as we walked up the front porch steps.

**APOV**

As we approached the front door I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I was sure it was going to beat its way out. I reached out to open the door.

"Amy wait," Kellie stopped my hand. "Look, it's been broken into."

"He's here." I whispered, only because I didn't have the strength to speak any louder.

"Maybe we should just call it in and wait for the cops?"

"No Kells, I have to get to her."

I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Where do you think she'd be?" Kellie asked.

"Frankie would want to lure me in."

"Well he's succeeding." Jackson said harshly. He was obviously not happy that I was here.

"We'll look up stairs first." I ignored him.

I led the way through the familiar house, up the stairs, and down the hall to the master bedroom. I moved slowly, cautiously. Frankie could be waiting for me anywhere, and I was unarmed. I knew it was wrong to have let Jackson and Kellie come along, but I was glad that they had; they gave me a reason to be strong. I had to take care of them.

We stopped in front of the door that was the master bedroom; it was cracked open. I held my breath as I pushed it opened. My eyes slowly scanned the room looking for Frankie or Aunt Suzie; he wasn't there, but she was. She lay sprawled out on the bed, bruised and battered. I rushed to her.

"Aunt Suzie," I took her head in my hands carefully and examined her closely.

Her eye was already a dark shade of purple. Her nose was clearly broken. Her lips were pale, dry, and split. There were marks around her neck from where he had strangled her with his large, rough hands. Seeing her like this I couldn't help but to compare her to the way my mother used to look after my dad had forced himself on her. Tears were rolling down my face and a sob escaped my lips.

Her eyes flickered open. "Amy," she whispered.

"Shh Aunt Suzie, don't speak. Save your strength. Kellie she needs some water. In the bathroom next to the sink is a cup." I instructed and Kellie rushed into the adjoining bathroom.

"It's going to be alright Aunt Suzie. I'm going to take care of you now."

"Amy, Frankie…" She coughed out.

"I know, and I'm so sorry to have brought you into this mess."

"Here Amy and I brought a wet rag too." Kellie said, handing the items to me.

"Thanks. Help her sit up Jackson."

Jackson sat on the bed and carefully helped my aunt sit up enough to drink. I tilted the glass of water to her lips. Jackson laid her back down after she drank.

"She needs to get to the hospital." I said as I dabbed the rag to her wounds.

"We'll call 911 then." Jackson reached for his phone.  
"No." I stopped him. "I know he's still here. We need to get her out of here, now."

"Then we'll drive her there ourselves. Can you carry her Jackson?" Kellie asked.

"Yea," he nodded and stood up. I moved out of his way. "I'm going to pick you up now Mrs. Johnson. I promise to be gentle."

She nodded weakly to tell him that she understood. Kellie led us back down the stairs and I took the rear. We made it out without any problems. In the car Kellie looked up the directions to the hospital while Jackson carefully laid Aunt Suzie in the back seat and crawled in with her. I looked back at the ominous looking house.

"Come on Amy, get in the car." Kellie said.

I shook my head.

"Amy we have your Aunt. We have what we came for. Now get in."

"No Kells. This isn't over. If I leave now he'll get away again and come back some other time. I have to end this."

Jackson got out of the car and came to me.

"Jackson get back in the car." I ordered.

"You're crazy if you think I'm going to leave you here alone."

"Jackson…  
"We're not arguing about this Amy! I go where you go."

I paused. "Drive as fast as you can Kells." I instructed through the open door.

"I'll send help." She replied. I slammed the car door shut and she sped off towards the highway.

"Now what?" Jackson asked.

"We find him and we put an end to this nightmare." I looked towards the shed. "Come on, I don't want to go back in there without something to defend ourselves with."

Jackson followed me to my uncle's garden shed near the back of the house. My Uncle Paul used to keep all of his gardening tools in there: rakes, shovels, and hoes. They wouldn't cause much damage to Frankie but at least maybe we could rough him up a bit before help arrived. I lifted the chain that was wound through the handles.

"Damn it's locked."

"Let me see." Jackson said and I stepped aside. He pulled on the doors a little.

"Do these slide open?" he asked.

"Yea."

He jiggled the handle. "Shouldn't be too hard." He looked around before picking up a small boulder. He slammed the boulder down on one of the handles; he was trying to knock it off. If the situation we were in hadn't been so stressful, I probably would have been turned on by his bulging muscles. At last it gave way.

"I hope your Aunt Suzie forgives me for that."

"I'm sure she will."

I slid the doors open and stepped inside. The hot and musty smell of the garden shed rushed my nostrils and it was mildly comforting; it reminded me of how Uncle Paul would smell after working in the yard. I turned the light on and looked around for the shovels. They were in the same corner as they always were. I was about to grab two off the wall when I heard a loud noise followed by a thud.

"Jackson?" I spun around to find him but my head came in contact with a large object and I fell to the floor. The last thing I saw before my eyes flittered closed and darkness surrounded me, was Jackson's body lying perfectly still outside the shed.

* * *

**Oh, I'm so mean to give you yet another cliffie! But please, just hang in there till the end. We are almost there...**


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**KPOV**

When the Monkey's MySpace said Ben J was "discovered in the woods of Illinois," they weren't kidding. The boy lived out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but trees as neighbors.

"Turn left." The GPS instructed. I did as it said and pulled out my phone. Now would be a good time to call since I had no other instructions but to go straight for several miles.

"Come on pick up the phone….Ben! It's Kellie…." Jackson had told me that he promised to update Ben as soon as possible, and well I had nothing else to do now, but drive of course.

"I'm taking her to the hospital now…. Frankie roughed her up pretty bad, but she's a fighter and I'm sure she'll be alright once the doctors take care of her….I don't think that's a good idea right now; she needs to save her energy….Amy's with Jackson back at the house….I couldn't get her to come with me and there's no way he'd leave her….Amy seemed to think he was still there, but I never saw him….Me? We'll I'm fine….Thank you….Yea, yea sure hang on just a sec…."

"Mrs. Johnson," I looked through my rear view mirror at Ben's mom who lay in the back seat. Her glossy eyes looked back at me. Good, she was still responsive, this was very good.

"Mrs. Johnson, I have your son on the line."

"Benjamin…"She said weakly.

"Yes Ben. He says he loves you and that he wants you to hang in there. He says he's at the airport now. He's on his way to see you."

"I…love…him…"

I smiled. "I'll pass on the message." I lifted the phone back to my ear. "Ben, she says she loves you too."

**JPOV**

I opened my eyes. My vision was heavily blurred and my ears were ringing loudly. My ability to move was hindered. My hands were taped behind my back, my ankles were taped together, and my mouth was taped shut.

When my vision cleared a little more I looked around. I was back inside lying on a hardwood floor. Judging by the bed that was in the room I'd say I was in a child's bedroom, and since there were dolls on the bookshelf over the bed it must have been Amy's room.

Amy! Where was she?

A man walked in. It must have been Frankie. He couldn't be much taller than I was, but he was bigger, bulkier. His clothes were dirty and his hair was shaggy. And, god I could smell his stench from here.

"Good, you're awake." He snarled. "I want ya awake when I kill her. I want ya ta watch. Would ya like to see her one more time?" He opened the closet door directly in front of me.

Amy! There she was, lying on the closet floor. She wasn't moving. She wasn't her normal peaceful self like when she usually slept. She looked helpless, defenseless. What had the bastard done to her?!

"Amy!" I called out but it came out as nothing more than a muddled cry. It worked though; she began to stir.

"Amy!" I called again and this time I was answered with a side splitting kick to the abdomen. Tears welled up in my eyes as Frankie's foot crashed into me again and again. I called for her again, weaker however. Her eyes opened and found mine. Her beautiful soft voice called out to me as Frankie's foot rammed back into me.

"Jackson! No stop it! Leave him alone Frankie!"

Frankie turned around and focused on her then. Amy ran from the closet towards me but Frankie caught her by the throat. I wriggled on the floor in protest and yelled as loudly as I could. Frankie didn't register it as he tossed Amy back into the closet like she was nothing more than a rag doll.

"_What was he doing?"_ He moved a chair underneath the door knob. _"No! That son of a bitch!"_ he was going to lock her in. I had to get to her, but first I had to break these bonds.

I looked around for anything that would be useful to me. On the desk next to me were pictures. If I could knock one of them off and break the glass, perhaps I could use it to cut through the tape. I began to, for lack of a better word, scoot over to the desk.

Frankie had begun to ram his body against the outside closet walls. Though he was laughing loudly and taunting, I could still hear Amy's petrified screams and they made my heart break. I wasn't sure how long she would last.

My attempts to knock off the picture frames weren't noticeable against Frankie's pounding and Amy's screaming. At lat one fell and the glass shattered. I scrambled around for a piece. Picking one up I began cutting through the tape while trying not to cut myself.

_"Hang in there Amy." _Her screams were beginning to fade. _"I'm coming for you darlin', just hang on a little longer."_

**APOV**

I opened my eyes to muffled screams. My vision was blurry and my head was buzzing. I heard another muffled scream and focused my eyes. Jackson! He was curled up on the floor across the room, and Frankie was standing over him kicking him repeatedly.

"Jackson." I called weakly. I had to stop Frankie. "Jackson! No stop it! Leave him alone Frankie!"

I pushed myself up and ran towards Jackson. Frankie caught me by the throat, his fingers wrapped around tightly cutting off my air way. He tossed me backwards like I weighed nothing, and I crashed into the closet floor again. I rubbed my head and looked out as Frankie slammed the door closed.

"No!" I jumped for the handle and tried to push it open but Frankie had already found a way to lock it.

"No! Let me out!" I could feel the panic taking over already. It was getting hotter by the second and every breath I took was shallower than the last. I had to get out of here.

"Let me out!" I screamed. I beat my hands against the door. I scratched and clawed until my hands were bloody and full of splinters. I screamed until my throat grew scratchy, and then I screamed louder until my voice was hoarse.

"Please…" my cries became weaker. "I can't….breath."

My mind was foggy and my limbs were growing heavy. I was on the verge of passing out. My eye lids were droopy but I knew if I closed them in this state of mind, then I would never open them. And I could never see Jackson again. Jackson! I had to hang on for him. I had to be strong for him. But how?

Somewhere in the back of my mind a song was quietly playing.

_**I**__** wanna make you smile whenever you're sad**_**  
**_**Carry you around when your arthritis is bad  
All I wanna do is grow old with you**_

_**I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches  
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks  
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you**_

_Jackson was chasing me around the living room with nothing but a towel around his waist. I was wearing my black silk robe. We had just gotten out of the shower and I was jokingly refusing him. I enjoyed watching him beg for it. Not that I was being cruel or anything, I mean sometimes I begged him for it too. It was our little game._

_  
__**I'll miss you  
I'll kiss you  
Give you my coat when you are cold**_

_**I'll need you  
I'll feed you  
Even let ya hold the remote control**_

_His wet body slammed into mine and his hardness pressed against my stomach. Oh he really wanted me didn't he? I was going to pay for this big time, goodie. _

_"I've got you now my little tease." Jackson ginned._

_"Hmm, and what are you going to do with me now?"_

_**So let me do the dishes in our **__**kitchen sink**__**  
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink  
I could be the man who grows old with you**_

_**  
I wanna grow old with you**_

_I lay naked in Jackson's arms and he held me tightly against his naked body. Our hearts were beating fast and our breathing was heavy. I knew I could never feel happier than when I was with him._

"_I love you darlin' and I'll always be there for you."_

Suddenly it became easier to breath. My breaths weren't coming as rapid and they were getting deeper. My head began to clear and I could think rationally again. I had to get out of here. I had to get to Jackson. I couldn't give up.

I looked around the closet and saw the one thing that could help me; Benny's old wooden bat. I pulled it from the corner and got on my knees. I rammed the bat into the door over and over again. After several hits a whole began to give way. I tried to make it bigger.

"You bitch!" Frankie yelled. He pushed the chair away that he had propped against the door and grabbed me by the shirt. As he pulled me through the whole my side caught on the door, tearing open my scar again and I screamed our in pain. He grabbed my shirt again and held me up. He raised his hand to hit me, but Jackson came out of nowhere and stopped him.

"Keep your hands off her you son of a bitch!" Jackson yelled as he took the bat I had used and swung it at Frankie's head. The bat made contact with a loud crack and Frankie stumbled away and collapsed on the floor moaning in agony.

Jackson held out a bloody hand and helped me up. Frankie continued writhing on the floor as we left. Without speaking, Jackson and I rushed down the stairs. Jackson went to continue out the front door but I pulled him back. I shook my head and led him down the hallway on the ground floor. I took us into my uncle's old office and locked the door behind us.

"We should be leaving Amy."

"No Jackson, not until this is over. Kellie's probably made it to the hospital now, and the cops should be on their way. All we have to do is keep him here until they arrive."

"By hiding out in a room, behind a door he can easily break down? Amy this is ridiculous. We should leave while we have the chance. I promised your cousin I would bring you back safely and that's exactly what I intend to do." He didn't exactly yell at me, but his voice was raised and there was an edge to it.

"Jackson," I walked over to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. "I know this must be difficult for you, but I can't run from him anymore. I've spent my whole life, or at least the past twelve years of it running from my past, even hiding from it. I've worked so hard to prove to the world, to prove to myself, that I am better than my family and that I'm not like any of them. Everything I have accomplished has been in spite of my past and yet I still feel inadequate and helpless when I'm reminded of it. Now I have the chance to stand down the very thing that has been the source of all my fears and insecurities, and you want me to run away from it? If I run now, I'll be running forever. And I refuse to live like that anymore."

Jackson looked ashamed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" He reached up and gently tucked my hair behind my ears. "What do we do?"

"I have a plan."


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"Frankie!" I was standing in the middle of the living room looking towards the primary entrance, and I was calling Frankie out. Jackson was standing against one of the walls still holding on to that bat.

"Frankie I'm waiting! You wanted me, well now you've got me! I'm waiting but where are you? Come out, come out wherever you are, Dick Cox!" He hated that name.

Frankie came stumbling down the stairs; he hadn't fully recovered from his blow to the head. This could play to my advantage. He looked mad, probably angrier than I'd ever seen him. He hated being called Dick and anyone who made the mistake of doing so regretted it.

"There you are Dick. What kept you? Have a bit of a headache do ya?" I smiled sinisterly. Where was all this bravery coming from?

"Do you wanna die bitch?" Frankie asked as he came towards me. I saw Jackson tighten his grip on the bat. I stood my ground.

"We all die eventually Dick." He winced. "Oh, what's the matter? Not like the name our dear mother bestowed upon you?"

"Shut up woman!" He raised his hand to hit me but Jackson moving in the corner caught his attention and he changed his plan. He quickly maneuvered behind me and grabbed me. He pulled me close and whipped out his knife and pressed the blade against my throat. Jackson froze.

"Thought you'd get in another hit did ya? Drop the bat." Frankie ordered. "Drop it or I kill your little whore right now."

"Do it Jackson." I pleaded. He slowly set the bat on the floor and held up his hands.

"Now roll it over here." Frankie demanded. Jackson did as he was told and the bat rolled to our feet and stopped.

"What was this?" Frankie laughed. "Did ya think you'd distract me while your little friend would attack me from behind? Ah little sis you have so much to learn. Too bad you won't have the chance to now."

"Did I ever tell you about what happened to my father Jackson?" I asked.

"Now, now Amelia did we forget about our little secret."

"If you're going to kill us anyways Frankie, then what does it matter?"

"Well I guess you've got a point there. Hmm, I suppose it couldn't hurt to tell. But allow me.

"I killed him, just like I'm gonna kill you. With this very knife in fact. The stupid bastard got in my way of a drug deal. So I slit his throat and buried his body in the back yard. Little Amelia here saw it all, so I made a little deal with her. If she promised not to tell I promised not to do the same to her. I even gave her a permanent reminder of our deal. His name was Eugene so I carved a 'U' in her side. Get it, U-gene." He laughed at his own apparent genius.

"Brilliant." Jackson said plainly. "But the way I see it, you're breaking your promise now. She never told and yet your about to kill her."

"You see that's the beauty of it all. I only promised not to do the same to her, which means I ain't gonna slit her throat. There's other ways of killin' her."

Frankie removed the blade from my throat and I took advantage of the situation. With all the force I could muster I rammed both elbows into his stomach and stomped on his foot. It was enough to break his hold on me. I grabbed the bat located at our feet, and without skipping a beat I swung it hard against his knee, first one then the other. I heard the crack as the knee caps shattered and Frankie crumbled to the floor, screaming out. He swung at me with the knife but I swung back with the bat and knocked the knife clean out of his hands. He cradled his broken hand to his chest. I positioned the bat for another swing, this time at his head, but I faltered and Frankie saw.

"What is it Amelia?" He taunted. "Are you going to kill me now? Are you going to show your true colors? After all you're only a Cox."

I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face permanently. I wanted to silence jeering laugh forever. I wanted to make him suffer as much as I had. I wanted him to die.

"Amy," Jackson said calmly as Frankie continued to laugh.

I screamed and rammed the bat down. Frankie fell silent as the bat smashed into the floor beside his head. He looked at me in disbelief. I tossed the bat aside.

"Why?" he asked mockingly.

"Because, I am not like you." I turned my back on him and walked into Jackson's waiting arms.

"That wasn't exactly according to plan." He said.

I shrugged. "I improvised."

"Are you ok?"

I nodded. "Yea, yea I am. Are you?"

"As long as you're good, I'm good." He brushed the hair out of my face. I must have looked like a mess, but I don't think he really cared how I looked.

"I'm proud of you." He whispered before he gently pressing his lips against mine in a sweet, love-filled kiss.

**JPOV**

I pulled out of our kiss, too soon I admit, but I wanted to see her again. I took in her tangled hair and her dirty face. Her fingers were splintered and her clothes were torn and bloody. She looked like hell, and yet she had never looked more beautiful. She had conquered her fears. It was all over now.

I saw Frankie moving out of the corner of my eye. Apparently, it wasn't over for him yet. He had managed to get a hold of the bat and clamor to his feet. He ran straight for us.

"No!" I yelled as I pulled Amy behind me. I would not let him get her. We were trapped against the wall with no way out.

Just as he was about to get within swinging distance a gunshot when off. Frankie stumbled but continued moving forward. The gun went off again, and again. Frankie fell to the floor in a pool of blood. I looked to my left and saw a line of uniformed officers standing in the doorway; their guns were raised and directed at Frankie. I turned back to Amy in time to see her eyes roll to the back of her head. I caught her in my arms as she collapsed.

"Amy?" I called to her but she didn't respond. It was then that I noticed the blood that was still spilling from her side.

"Shit. We need a medic over here!" I called to the officers. "Amy hang in there darlin'. Don't you dare give up on me now! Amy!"

*~*

The medics pushed me aside as they attended to Amy. For the second time in a few short weeks I watched as they loaded my girlfriend onto a stretcher and inside an ambulance. This time I fought my way on board with her. I sat in the back holding her hand as they tried to stop the bleeding.

At the hospital it felt like an eternity before the doctor finally allowed me in the room to see her. She was hooked to another heart monitor and she had IVs in her hands. She was very pale and her hair was dingy looking, but she was alive. And right now, that's all that mattered to me.

I walked to her bed and took her hand in mine as I sat down. I pushed her hair aside and pressed my lips to her forehead.

"Amy, wake up." I whispered. She did as I asked and her eyes fluttered open.

"Jackson," her voice was hoarse.

"Shh, darlin'. I'm here." I rubbed her hand gently.

"Aunt Suzie?"

"She's fine. She's doing very well thanks to you and Kellie. She's resting now, just down the hall. She has a broken nose, a broken leg, and a few fractured ribs. But thankfully, the rape kit they took on her turned up negative."

Amy nodded. "Good. And Frankie?"

"He's dead. Captain Hanks shot him."

"Are you sure he's really dead?"

"Positive. I checked myself. And I gave the tape recorder to the Captain. By now, they've listened to Frankie's confession the authorities in North Carolina are being informed of the situation." She had tears running down her face, so I wiped them away.

"It's over then." It wasn't a question.

I looked over my shoulder as someone walked in. "Amy, there's someone here who would like to see you." I waved him in.

"Benny," she said.

"Hey Aims." Ben walked over and sat on the other side of the bed and took her other hand. "Thank you for getting our mom out in time." I could swear I thought I saw tears in his eyes.

"I'll just give you two a minute alone. You have a lot of catching up to do. I won't go far Amy." She nodded and I kissed her forehead again before leaving.

"Jackson," she called out just as I reached the door. "I love you." She smiled.

"I love you too."

* * *

**Well, that's it there's just the Epilogue left now, but I thought I would leave my thoughts here and leave you with the happy ending.**

**Thanks for sticking through to the end. It has been a great pleasure writing and I've really enjoyed signing on everyday to see all the hits I've received. **

**Thanks to .Vampire. for all her lovly reviews! I've enjoyed reading them so much. **

**And thanks to all my readers over at JRO. This one is for you. **

**Thanks so much for choosing my story to read. It thrills me to no end. Please, feel free to continue to let me know what you think.**

***~*SweetSunnyRose*~*  
**


	23. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**About a month later, August**

"This isn't a bad little place you have here." Jackson said as he walked up behind me, and carefully slid his arms around my waist.

"Yea I know." I laid my head on his shoulder. "But it isn't Berkeley either."

"No, it's Houston."

I had decided to attend graduate school at the University of Houston, and I was moving into my new apartment today. Well, the monkey boys were moving me in because according to the good doctor who took care of me, I wasn't supposed to do any rigorous activity or heavy lifting which might upset the stitches I had received.

"Houston," Jackson said. "It's a lot further from L.A. than Berkeley is."

"Yea, I guess you'll just have to visit your mother more often."

"She'll love that." He kissed my cheek. I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his neck.

"This also means that we have new rooms to christen." I pecked him on the lips.

"Hmm, so it does." He kissed me back briefly and I giggled before his lips plunged into mine and his tongue explored my mouth.

"Oh come on you two." Benny complained as he walked in with the others; they were all carrying boxes. Well, except my Aunt Suzie of course, she was still on crutches.

"Give it a rest Benjamin. It's young love. Your father and I were the same way once; we couldn't keep our hands off each other."

"Mom." He whined.

"Well, that's the last of it." Jerad said as he set his box down and stood next to his wife.

"Thanks you guys. I feel really bad that I couldn't help, but you know doctor's orders and all." I teased.

"Yea, yea, put a sock in it." Benny said.

"Or a cock." Jackson whispered to where only I could hear him. I responded by throwing my hand against his chest. "Owe."

"My Aunt Suzie is here. Watch your mouth." I said through gritted teeth.

"What's going on over there?" My aunt asked.

"Nothing."

"You're a terrible liar Amy." Benny laughed.

"Yea, so sue me. What's wrong Kells?"

"You're moving to Houston." She pouted.

"Correction, she's moved to Houston." Ben G said exhausted.

"Kells, we've talked about this." I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. "Houston has the…"

"Best optometry school around, yes I know." She finished for me. "Berkeley has a decent program too."

"This conversation sounds very familiar." I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I know. It's just harder than I thought it would be."

"What is?"

"Saying goodbye."

"We are not saying goodbye. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"You forget, she's a fighter." Jackson grinned. I smiled back at him.

"Oh, before I forget. I have something for you." Kellie said pulling out a large envelope. "Consider it a late graduation gift."

"What?" I hesitantly took the envelope from her and pulled out a large sum of cash. "Kells, I can't accept your money."

"But that's just it. It's not my money, it's yours. It's all the money you ever put into the party box."

"Kells, this money was supposed to go to the graduation party we had."

"Yea, well it didn't so here you go. You worked hard for this money Amy; you should put it to something important like a new pair of shoes, or rent."

"Kells…"

"God Amy, would you just take the damn money."

"Alright, alright. You're so stubborn you know that."

"Thank you."

"It wasn't a compliment."

Jackson walked over and slid his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek.

"You know," my Aunt Suzie turned to Jerad and his wife. "I saw this charming little café around the corner. Care to join me there for lunch?"

"Sure, we'd love to Mrs. Johnson." Jerad responded.

"I've told you boys to call me Suzie."

"Kellie, perhaps you might like to join me for lunch?" Ben asked. I looked at Jackson curiously.

"I'd like that, very much." Kellie responded with a smile. Wait, was she blushing?

After everyone had left, I turned to Jackson. "Did he just ask her out?"

"Yes, yes he did."

"Alright Benny. They'd be good for each other, don't you think?"

"I'm not interested in talking about them." He turned me around to face him. "We're alone." He kissed me passionately for a _very_ brief moment.

"Hmm, yes we are." I murmured against his lips. "What are you going to do about it?"

He scoped me up in his arms. "I'm going to be very gentle, just like the doctor instructed." He smiled broadly and carried me off the to the bed room.

The End


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